Stop looking for balance

I just completed the book "Think and Grow Rich for Women" and the final chapter really struck me. 
Sharon Lechter talked about balance in a way I've never thought of before and surely has changed the way I'll ever think of it again.

She quotes the Merriam Webster's dictionary definition of balance as 

the ability to move or to remain in a position without losing control or falling

She also notes that as women we never stop moving, so why would we strive to achieve something that is defined as just that. 

I took it to another thought and correlated it to the statement I've most heard quoted by Anthony Robbins which is 

If you're not growing, you're dying.

Sharon went on to assert that what we should be seeking is presence. Rather than feeling guilty for not doing something else in this moment, seek and choose to be fully present doing what you are doing in any given moment. 

I love this philosophy. I feel thankful that I'm already practicing this in many ways, of course I can improve in this area, as most of us can in most areas of our lives.

This brings to mind for me so many people I see these days with their smart phones out at the dinner table, or at a business meeting. Don't get me wrong, I understand that you may be taking notes, or using social media to share and or promote the cool experience you are having. I've been to meetings and conferences where they ask you to tweet the hash tag, etc. 

I challenge you to ditch the search for balance and embrace the choice to be fully present.

When you are with your family, don't worry about the business or household tasks that need to be completed, BE with your family. When you are focused on the work you need to complete for your business, don't feel guilty that you are not spending time with your family. 

Certainly, do your best to arrange your schedule so that you can make the optimal use of your time, and serve your highest values.

  

 

Time to turn off auto pilot

When you read a lot of self help and personal development and inspirational material, especially as an entrepreneur, you see and hear a lot of reference to "the treadmill" or the hamster ball, there are other colloquialisms as well - mostly pointed at corporate America, or the average person's life. 

All of these refer to the idea of exerting a lot of effort (running) but never actually moving forward. 

I've seen this all around me in not only my corporate life, but also as I watched my friends and family in serious relationships.

So many people just keep moving on to the "next logical step" because they are on a track like a railroad train. Even though they are not going where they want, it's just easier to keep moving on the path that is clear. I'm sure you can think of countless examples of people in positions, some maybe even high level management positions who get there and turn around and ask "How did I get here?"

I've seen it happen to people in my life in serious relationships as well. My sister as well as a dear girlfriend both ended up in a position where they ended up calling off a wedding mid planning. 

That is an extremely tough thing to do. Looking at all of the planning and the time and the money invested into the wedding, it's easier to just go along with it and not disappoint anyone. Not have to answer questions. But how much more expensive in dollars and emotional breakdowns is it to get divorced? 

I talked with my girlfriend about it at length and she related to me that they found themselves looking at one another and asking "How did we get here?". They were dating long enough that it "just seemed like it was time to get engaged". Thankfully, they had the wherewith-all to realize in time that they were really just super great friends and it was easier to keep dating than to not. 

How many people do you know that don't like their job, maybe even hate it, but aren't looking for an alternative because "it's good enough", "it pays the bills" and it's easier to do nothing.

Life's not meant to be that way. I'm not saying life is easy, or that it's supposed to be easy. But it's supposed to be happy. 

It's supposed to light you up. 

It's supposed to excite you. 

Not 10 years from now, not when you retire, not tomorrow, but today and every day.

That's what life is meant to be. 

Is it time for you to turn off the auto pilot on your life and take the controls?   

Baby Steps with Lead Shoes

Life is truly amazing. When you declare what you want in that certain way, when you set a goal or create an affirmation and it is so visceral that you feel a tightness in your chest when you think about it, you know something is different. You know, I knew, something big is coming. 

Those of you who have been following along lately have heard me blame my amazing Coach Christine Suva for my most recent big amazing project. 

It's amazing how when you start building momentum how fast things shift. It was less than 2 months ago that the idea for my first full day event, Whole Self Nourish came out of our first official coaching call. I was scared sick over how or if I would be able to pull it off. Even the day of the event, heck even two days after the event, I was still nervous. 

And yet, here I am today, joyfully, confidently working on the second Whole Self Nourish Day on July 25th. I already have speakers and partners registered and on board and I should have my location secured within the week. Partners I was even a little nervous about approaching were totally psyched to get on board and be a part of the event. One partner went so far as to say 

Im in! Not sure what's going on but whatever you're doing i wanna be a part of it. :-)

Of course, something even bigger was pushing its way into my life. I keep telling Christine, my coach, I'm starting to get really terrified as what my life is going to look like after 6 months of us working together because in just the first month two really huge things already started moving, and moving with purpose. 

So, I'm stepping into the next big amazing project. It requires some self discovery, a little skill and story inventory, and trying to re-connect with that "little braggart self" I talked about last week. A few weeks back, I experienced an amazing presentation from Wendy Lipton Dibner. The replay is up for just a few more days, I would highly recommend investing 90 minutes of your time. You won't regret it! The second assignment is to help you discover your unique gift to the world, the thing that you probably take for granted because it comes easily to you. The message is becoming clearer and clearer that this new direction is where I'm going right now, whether I feel ready or not.

So I'm stepping into it. I'm taking definitive daily action. I'm spending lots of daily time on introspection and trying to change that inner conversation from "Who do you think you are?" to "You've totally got this!". Thank you, by the way to all of you who contributed to my homework assignment with your spectacular words of support. And thank you to my personal cheer-leading squad who spurred this next evolution, you guys totally rock my socks off! 

But I'm taking small definitive daily action. One baby step after another, and I feel like I'm wearing lead shoes! Man what a workout! My quads and glutes are going to look amazing!   

I'm not ready to spill the beans quite yet but you know coming from me it will be FUN, so stay tuned! 

Mirror Mirror

I heard a great statement at a presentation last week

You can't read the label from inside the jar.

What a succinct way to say it. It's amazing to me how we can see things so clearly except when it comes to our own reflection.

Many of you are experts in human behavior or insights in one way or another, and yet, when it comes to shining that light on yourself, you can't read your own label. 

It's too bad that we all grow out of our "little braggart self". 

One of my all time favorite blog posts is about Amelia.

I had several intense experiences last week that are propelling me into my NEXT BIG THING because this journey I'm on seems to have a life of its own.

As I turn my vision to myself and start to claim and step into those unique gifts that are mine to bless the world with, I find myself in that inner struggle between YES I AM AWESOME and I'm not worthy or I'm not enough.

Definitely as I step out onto a bigger playing field and use more of my own voice rather than lending my voice to the backing vocals of another lead, I feel that struggle even more. 

I am SO thankful for my amazing people who support me, and my AMAZING ROCK STAR coach who manages to uplift me in such an uncanny way.

I'm learning to see that one of those unique gifts of mine is that very ability to see that in others. It's tough for me to see because if you asked me, I'd just underplay it and say I just pay attention to information that is there for everyone to see. 

I'm starting to realize that I may see things differently that others do. When I say things, I mean people, situations, business models, plans, strategies, etc. Most impactfully, I think, I see people through a lens of genuine love and support. To me, it just seems like how things are, but I'm learning that it isn't how things are for everyone. 

I look at you and see Amelia with all her quirky brilliance and unbridled potential, what do you see?  What inner voices to you hear as you step into the next steps on your journey?  

Do You Need to Lighten Your Load?

I would guess that many of you are like me, and fall into the trap of getting involved in an ever growing number of projects. 

I'm often asked how I manage Chicago Over 40 Females along side my day job, not including the Over 40 Females Online Community and my skincare business. Most of the time, I have a good rhythm. 

Meanwhile, I'm building my personal brand, Whole Self Nourish around all those businesses, launching my first full day event and when asked to help out on this or that committee, of COURSE I say yes.

The problem, as we all know, is that the more balls we throw in the air, the more likely you are to drop one.

I find the detail work to be the ball I seem to drop most often. My social media planning and scheduling, or my newsletters. 

The great thing is that there are lots of resources from tools to hiring virtual assistants, or full on companies to handle different items on your list.

One of my favorite words these days is leverage. How can you best leverage your time, effort and energy? How can you get the most mileage out of work that you do?

I'm great with adding tools to help me complete my tasks faster, easier, more efficiently, but I find when it comes to leaning on outside resources, I feel like it takes more energy for me to get them "up to speed" than it takes for me to do it myself. Of course, that need for things to be done exactly the way I want is a large contributing factor as well.

But I'm learning, I'm getting better. I used to joke that I need more staff. Of course, it's for the items that I'm clearly unskilled at or simply dislike. Yard work is very high on that list.  Also, nearly ridiculous things like a person to do my hair and makeup for me every day as those are not tasks I'm very skilled at. 

At what point do you recognize that you may need to lighten your load, and what strategies to you employ to offset some of your overhead? Are you more of a team or a tool person?  I'd love to hear from you! 

Sometimes the Leap Takes a Push

As we travel through this journey called life. Each new challenge brings with it new knowledge, new confidence and new self worth. 

So why is it that we resist them each at first? I've been sharing lately about the amazing results I'm experiencing with my new business coach Chris Suva. As I have found in my experience with working with a coach, I am pushed to do or create something bigger than I have before. I am pushed to step into a version of myself that perhaps others see, but I don't completely believe yet. 

As I am working on bringing my first full day event to fruition, I find myself alternating between excitement and terror, anticipation and self-doubt. Luckily for me, based on my very first session with Chris, I can look back and see how that exact feeling in the past has led me to some of my very best moments and finest achievements. 

Sometimes, in order to take that leap of faith, we need a little push. 

  

Stretching

Having been a runner since high school, I am a bit ashamed to admit I'm terrible at stretching. 

When my muscles are really stiff and sore and tight, of course then I do it, but as part of my normal workout routine, I'm horrible and I skip it almost all of the time. 

I got to thinking about it today as I was thinking about how much I'm being stretched by the next project I'm working on. How stretching can be uncomfortable, but it's a very good thing that helps you to perform better in all areas. 

Whenever I work with a business coach, (something I strongly recommend) I find myself pushed and stretched in ways that often greatly frighten me. My husband would admonish me and tell me that it's because others can plainly see "how great I am" it's only me that can't.

Working on this new project, under the banner of my "new" brand, I am alternately excited and terrified. I think that's a good sign that I'm on the right track as weird as that sounds. 

Where are you stretching these days? Or where have you stretched that brought you great results? I'd love to hear your stories!   

If the shoe doesn't fit...

I think we're all familiar with the Cinderella story. Think over the part where the glass slipper has been found and the stepsisters are trying to get it to fit. Not because they find the shoe beautiful, not because it is a comfortable shoe, but because they believe ownership of the shoe will get them their desired end goal, to marry the prince. Of course, as you know, the significant obstacle here is that the shoe simply does NOT fit. No matter how they squeeze and struggle, nothing they do will change that. 

Do we ever unwittingly find ourselves in this same pattern in our business? 

Stay with me here... 

You see an idea, a business model, a strategy and you see how well it is working for someone. You perceive that it even takes them across a goal line that you are eager to achieve. That may be a title, a monetary earning amount, a significant achievement of any kind. 

But when you try to implement the same thing, it simply doesn't work for you, it doesn't have the same result, and you don't understand. 

Say, for example, you are a business coach, and you are trying to grow your practice to a $10K a month practice. And you run across another business coach, and learn that she has a $12K a month practice. (It's magic that you find this out, just stick with me here) And you see that she is active on twitter and even gaining new clients through here twitter conversations. 

So, you study twitter, you model her activity, and after 6 months, you don't have a single new client through twitter. 

For any number of reasons, this marketing model may simply not work for you. There may be more to it than you are aware of, for example, these conversations may have started with a live referral, or her audience may be significantly different than yours.

Now this is an overly simplistic example for illustration sake, but the principle is there. I think that sometimes, we see something and we believe that it is going to get us the end result we are looking for, and we get hung up on that "thing". Maybe it's a vehicle for delivering your product or service, maybe it's a business model, it could be any number of things.

So...

If the shoe doesn't fit, move on. 

I think we get tunnel vision sometimes and we think that the vehicle we are in is the only one that can get us to our destination. That simply isn't true. If you are at point A and you want to get to point B, there are any number of vehicles that will get you there, at differing speeds, and with differing levels of comfort, but they will all get you there. 

Be willing to move on. Try something else. 

How about you? Can you relate? Have you found yourself in this pattern? I'd love to hear your comments! 

Do you feel like a blushing bride?

For those of us who have experienced this period of life, being engaged is a pretty fun, pretty exciting period of time. 

You are treated pretty much like a queen. Not only by your family and friends who ooh and aah over you, but by complete strangers. 

Shop clerks, waitresses, all your parents' friends, you find relatives you never even knew you had, coworkers, you name it! 

During this period of your life, you feel pretty special, pretty important, very valued and hopefully extremely happy.

So I ask you, have you felt like that lately? Because that word

engaged

is a word that is used an awful lot these days, in sales, in marketing, in social media. 

Get your audience engaged, keep your customers engaged.

These days, customer engagement takes a lot more than a series of emails or a weekly newsletter, but what does it take really? 

And I ask you, if "someone" was trying to get or keep your business, and they made you feel even a bit like that other engaged, how likely are you to do business with them? 

I bet VERY likely, because I tell you, if someone was making ME feel like that, I'd practically be throwing my money at them! As a matter of fact, I can even think of an instance where I do that nearly every week! 

It may sound trite, but my local grocery store, Mariano's. I know most of the managers, and more importantly, they know me. They know where I've been on vacation, various social activities I'm involved in, all kinds of things. When they see me, they smile, they rush over, they make an exerted effort to find something to do for me. Heck, the front end manager unloads my cart with me half the time. Despite the great prices, my grocery budget seems to have increased a bit, and I couldn't be happier!

What could you do to make your customers and future customers feel a bit more like a blushing bride? I'd love to hear your thoughts! 

 

What if overwhelm is a GOOD sign?

Life is always throwing a lot at us. I consider myself to be above average in the way that I handle stress.

I have a lot going on, I always do, but I still manage to find plenty of time to relax, decompress, have fun and connect with and enjoy my friends and family.

I'm one of those people that is almost always in an outstanding mood. Not good, or even great, but extraordinary. When you ask me how I'm doing, a typical response for me is Fabulous! or Spectacular! or Fantastic! And it's genuine. People tell me I'm never in a bad mood. (Trust me, just ask my husband, it happens, even to me) 

Over the weekend, I found myself in a state of what I can best describe as overwhelm. Feeling as if maybe I've "bitten off more than I can chew" or that I've dropped the ball because I'm juggling just one more than I can manage.

As a result, I didn't get half of what I had intended accomplished over the weekend and of course, found myself on Monday morning feeling behind the eight ball so to speak. Feeling as if I haven't given my all to some of the tasks on my plate which are manageable tasks because I'm moving into a space of handling new, much more challenging tasks. 

I believe I need to once again, give thanks to my amazing coaching session from last week with Christine Suva. 

I started out by chastising myself silently. I don't accept giving average or even above average. I expect outstanding and extraordinary from myself for all those whom I serve. 

In the midst of trying to organize my "lists of to-dos" to make sure I get everything done this week, I took some time to reflect on where I am and how I'm really feeling about what I have going on. 

I'm getting ready to step into something bigger. I'm doing some exciting but scary things right NOW. I looked back at how I was feeling before I launched the Chicago Over 40 Females chapter and found it felt a LOT like I am feeling right now. 

Doing things I haven't done before, in a way I haven't done them. 
Opening myself up to a new level of vulnerability and service. 
Looking at myself in a role I'm not 100% certain I deserve or am ready for. 

And I come away from this reflection feeling no less overwhelmed, but with confidence and excitement because I know how it turned out before. I know that this level of discomfort, while not pleasurable, is telling me that I am standing on the edge of something magnificent. 

I now step bravely into my journey ahead with fear and courage, confident about what lies on the other side.   

Is your confidence holding you back?

Confidence. 

I wrote several months back about situational confidence. 

Where does confidence come from? I believe we feel confidant when we feel we excel at a thing, and when we feel significant while doing that thing. It's not enough to just be good at something, if we feel that it's a thing that "everyone can do".

I had an AMAZING coaching call today with one of my recent speakers, Christine Suva. We were talking through some blocks and resistance I've been experiencing lately with growing my network marketing business. 

Not only did she do a remarkable job at helping me gain clarity around my "juice" and my bigger vision and passion for my business, but she helped me see that in this case, both of these things were holding me back. At least, my perception of these things in myself. As she helped me look back as some things I've done previously, I realize I have more skill in this area than I give myself credit for. (Aren't we ALL guilty of that!) She also shared with me how she viewed me and the natural gifts I bring to the table which she sees as large contributors to why Chicago Over 40 Females has become the dynamic organization that it has.  

As we closed the call, not only did I feel more confidant, but totally juiced and jazzed to step into a bigger vision of myself and Whole Self Nourish than I had fully embraced so far. 

*Stay tuned for some fun, ultra nourishing really cool announcements coming your way

The lesson for today is when you're feeling less than confidant in an area of your life, avoid the easy road of following the area where you're already feeling confidant. Allow yourself the space to break this area down into smaller components. Think about the areas, and the things that really "give you juice". The areas that come really easily to you, if not right now, than in the recent past. Focus on the aspects where you really shine as your very unique self in that space. Then re-frame your perspective around the area where you are feeling weak. 

I think you'll be amazed at the juice you find! 

Crossing the Line

One of those "catch phrases" I've grown tired of hearing is "get out of your comfort zone", so I find it strange that this is where this week's Nourish your Business Nugget comes from. For the past almost 2 years, I have been growing a women's networking organization in the Chicago area.

We have an amazing group of women who are truly supportive of one another, who are doing TONS of business together, and really collaborating and helping each other grow.

As the director of the chapter, I've always been very careful not to push my other business at events, for fear of looking inappropriate. I have said, I never want to give the impression that I think it's "The Shannon Show".

Sometimes members will ask me about what else I do, and I'm happy to share it with them, but kind of on the DL, so to speak. 

When I started the group in the beginning, with the advice of the coach I was working with, it was expressly so that I would get in front of the right people for my business. I've sent a few offers through a newsletter or a mass email and since I didn't get an overwhelming response, I chose to believe that no one was interested. 

The truth of the matter is, these women love me. I have a beautiful jar full of hand written notes sharing how much they think of me and appreciate me. I know, given the chance, they would love to support me. And, are in my exact target demographic. So, why am I so afraid to ask? 

In an ongoing effort to grow my network marketing business, I have made a commitment to reach out to my chapter members and sit down with each one one on one. 

What close contacts do you have in your life that you haven't discussed your business with out of discomfort? Out of a sense of crossing some imaginary boundary? 

I'll share the formula of my ask in the hopes that you will make a call this week yourself to get share what you're up to. 

1. Make the invitation personal, suggest a time and place that will be mutually convenient. 
2. Start with offering some times and days you are available that you would like to meet. 
3. Be specific with the time you plan to meet, in my case 45 minutes, so they know clearly how much time to schedule.
4. First, offer to hear what they are working on, and how you can support them in their goals.
5. Second, ask for their feedback in an area that you share interest or the connection that you have with one another, or an area where you feel they have expertise and would be willing to help you with research.
6. Third, let them know what you are looking forward to sharing with them, maybe it's your business in general, or maybe it's a program or event you're looking to promote.

I bet you'll find at least 3 warm market prospects you didn't even know you had! 

Beat the Winter Blues With a Stick

Although the days are technically getting longer, if you're anywhere where winter is winter, we are definitely in the "real winter months". The end of January and beginning of February seem to be the doldrums days when the short and cloudy days start to get to you. 

Here are 3 fun and silly ways to beat the winter blues away with a stick! 

1. Throw a luau party. That's right! Grab your favorite sundress or Hawaiian shirt and board shorts and bite the bullet with the gas company. Crank your heat up to 80 or more and invite a few friends over. Serve umbrella drinks and play the Beach Boys, Bob Marley or Jimmy Bufffet.
2. Turn your big screen TV into a virtual get-away. Rent Under the Tuscan Sun, The Beach with Leonardo DiCaprio or Motorcycle Diaries.
3. Create your own spa escape. Pull out that face mask and waste a couple of slices of cucumber. Play some water sounds and lay back on your couch in your robe or in a hot bubble bath. 

Isn't it funny how we see exactly what we're looking at?

Isn't it amazing how you can listen to the same thing over and over again, and each time you can hear something completely different? Or read the same words over and over and learn something completely different? 
AND 
how you hear what you need to hear when you need to hear it? 

Now, I've gone to Tony Robbins live 3 day event Ultimate Power Within and walked on fire. I have his Ultimate Edge program and I've completed it fully twice before. 

Recently, my situation changed at my day job and I now have a long commute two days a week. To combat the negative energy I was creating, I pulled out my Ultimate Edge program and have been listening to it on my commute time. It definitely has been serving the purpose of improving my attitude, my focus and my outlook.

My little back story on focus and clarity...

I was with a direct sales company for 8 years and had greatly varying degrees of success and failure. In the end, I could focus on nothing but the problem of getting in front of more of the right people. 

Through working with a coach, (this is the SUPER readers digest version) I started a women's networking group in early 2013. (Gather those "right people" in front of me).

Almost a whole year goes by, and although my networking group is thriving, my direct sales business has not gained one inch of traction. 

In the late fall of 2013, I shifted gears and changed from the direct sales business I had been building for almost 9 years and started a network marketing business. Similar business model, but not the same and definitely much more strongly aligned with my values and mission from the core of the company to the leadership to the products. I had a strong start and gained some momentum quickly, but then hit a bit of a stall. Over the next year, things were going OK, I was, and am earning a consistent income but my business is just not growing.

I started asking myself why success and confidence had come fairly easily to me
in the business of running the networking organization, where I had very little experience, and why I was struggling to build my network marketing business, especially in the area of confidence. 

I know I have a rock solid belief in the company and in the industry. 

So, this week, I was listening to the section of Personal Power on Driving Force. (Now, we're back to my point from the beginning - how you can hear the same thing multiple times but you don't *hear* it until you are ready to hear it)

So Tony is talking about our human needs of Certainty, Uncertainty, Significance, Love and Connection, Growth and Contribution, and he's explaining how the things that we LOVE to do, that seem effortless, that we excel at, those things meet all or most of those needs at near a level 10.

I start doing the exercise and going through my experience with my networking group, and darned if he isn't right! 

Then he talks about things that we don't enjoy doing, that we struggle to do, and how they don't meet those needs and how this makes us not want to do them and not enjoy doing them when we do.

Again, as I do the exercise, I see holy COW this is where it is, this is where my discomfort is coming from! 

And, of course, the best part is that he shares how we can take these experiences, and by changing our perspective, our outlook or our procedure, we can shift them into those same types of experiences we absolutely love and excel at. 

So, today I share the questions (not my original ideas, mind you - these are courtesy of Mr. Tony Robbins) to ponder so you can take a look at one of the areas in your life where you are struggling, but can't figure out why and see if a perspective change might make the difference for you as well.  

On a 0-10 scale, how much does this activity make you feel...

1. Certain / Comfortable
Ask yourself: What could I do or believe to make thinking about this activity feel not only comfortable but pleasurable? What skill could I improve ?

2. Uncertain / Variety
Ask yourself: How could I bring more variety or surprise to this activity? 

3. Significance / Importance
Ask yourself: How can I appreciate how important this is? 

4. Love and Connection
Ask yourself: How can I feel more love while I'm doing this? 

5. Growth and Contribution
Ask yourself: How can I feel like I'm growing and contributing? 

You get what you focus on, and when you ask better questions, you get better answers. 

When we are struggling in an area of our lives, especially when it comes to business, I think we focus on the forces outside of ourselves and we try to improve them even when we try to improve ourselves to affect them. Sometimes, we need to change our point of view, and focus on the forces inside of ourselves and the world around us will shift naturally.

I'd love to hear your experience. Where are you struggling and what change in focus do you think would cause a shift in your perspective?

How are your 40s treating you so far?

When you were a little girl, and you looked at your mom, didn't you think she had all the answers? That she had it all figured out? 

As you went into college, didn't you just assume that when you hit 40, life would kind of be all buttoned up? When I look back at my Mom in her 40s her life was on total auto pilot, or at least that's how it seemed to me.

So how is it, that almost every 40 something woman I know is going through or has gone through an enormous life transition? 

Kids move out, or family just getting started. 
Laid off or just decided you've had enough of the grind and want to do something you're passionate about.
Found the love of your life, or gone through a separation or divorce.
Experienced the loss of your parents or significant family member.

Sometimes all of the above.

In the past few years, I've been laid off, failed as an entrepreneur, had to go back to a corporate job, still kept plugging away at my entrepreneurial venture part time, started 2 new entrepreneurial ventures, completely re-branded, lost both my maternal grandparents, my only maternal uncle and my paternal grandmother, and my parents moved across the country. 

If you are anything like me, you have found that your 40's are not the kick back and take it easy time of your life that you imagined them to be as a young girl.

You've grown up, you've wised up and you've decided you're not going to live with the status quo any longer. 

And you're doing something about it.

Chances are, you're also experiencing a bit of resistance from those who know and love you the most. Maybe they don't get what "all the fuss is about". Maybe they don't understand why average just isn't good enough for you any more. Maybe they think you need to "serve your time" until you "get to retire", because that is what they see as the goal. 

I suggest you thank them for their opinion and let them know you respect their option to feel that way asking that they return the favor, respecting your option to feel the way you do. Let them know you're not asking them to even support you, just not actively dissuade you, and offer not to share about it unless they ask. (It's likely they'll ask, especially when you start rockin' it out!)

Times are different than they were 20 or 30 years ago when our moms were in their 40's. The world is a much smaller, more accessible place. We see our options and our possibilities in ways that our moms didn't. 

Many of us, decided that we wanted something different, something more, something better. Something that makes us feel full of passion. Something that gives us a sense of purpose. Something that gives us security. Something that makes us feel like we are making a difference, making an impact, making the world a better place even if that's just for the people we touch.

Know that you are not alone. Know that there are plenty of us going through the same things you are, or who already have. We are here, willing to support, champion, mentor and stand shoulder to shoulder with you.

Let's Connect! 
  

Insulation and Reception

Most of the time, in my life, I am surrounded by amazing, uplifting, inspiring, authentic people (sorry guys, mostly it's women). A lot of this is certainly by design. Years ago, after I started my entrepreneurial journey, I embarked as many of you have, on a personal development journey as well. As I'm sure you have, as part of that journey, I have broken away from habits, places and people that don't serve me, and distanced myself from most negativity. 

I don't watch the TV news, or listen to the radio news. Heck, we've been using a digital video recorder for so long, I have barely seen a commercial in the past 5 years. 

I don't participate in gossip if I can help it (we're all human, and it does happen to me on occasion too).

I had a very bad experience with a destructive supervisor (at my day job) and I took steps and removed myself from that situation, changing jobs and moving into an environment that serves me much better (for as long as I'm still holding on to that day job).

As a result, I have become a person that is incredibly receptive to others. Just last night, at one of my monthly networking events with my group of Chicago Over 40 Females, we had an amazing discussion around some challenges one of our members is working through in re-inventing her business model. It was one of those really deep, engaging conversations and we all tapped into the positive energy of one another on an amazing level and really all learned a LOT about ourselves and one another. 

As with most things, there's a rub. The more open and receptive you become, the more you open yourself up to being vulnerable and raw when you do become exposed to the negative and destructive forces in the world. 

This morning, I found myself on the periphery of some unprofessional, immature social media brew haha. I found that it bothered me a great deal more than it should have and I think it is because of being so open and receptive to the amazing good energy I am normally surrounded by. 

My pondering for the day is ... how do you properly insulate yourself from the negativity while remaining receptive to the positive influences around you? 

Luckily for me, that very group of amazing ladies gave me a fantastic gift of a beautiful jar filled with heart felt notes of thanks, and I was able to fend off the negative energy by going to that beautiful jar and reading some amazing words letting me know that I am, in fact, making a positive impact on the world around me.

I'd love to hear your thoughts! 

When do buzz words become a turn off?

Having been a self-care advocate for going on 10 years now, I feel like the buzz word has lost its shine, and perhaps even turned the corner to become a bit of a turn off. 

This definitely impacted my recent re-branding efforts as I not only wanted to make my message clear and authentic, but obviously attractive as well. 

I think the best word I can come up with to encompass the change I feel has occurred with the phrasing is glib. 

Having spent almost 15 years in a very standard corporate environment, I was subjected to plenty of stereotypical managers who throw the latest buzz words out in every email and at every meeting, sometimes not even knowing the meaning. 

I look at the phenomenon of copyright loss with brands like Kleenex and Xerox where the brand name becomes so commonplace it replaces the original generic words (tissue and copier).

So, while I still feel there is extreme importance and value in taking time to care for yourself, I have changed my phraseology from self-care to self nourish.

I'd love to hear your thoughts? What do you think of when you hear "self-care"? Are there buzz words in your business or industry that have lost their shine?  

Don't let your past dictate your future

So many of us find ourselves looking back at 2014 having not reached the goals we set for ourselves. One of my favorite a ha moments from my first Jack Canfield live training was his story about his goal to earn his first million dollars, how he didn't reach it, but he got close and was very happy with his results. 

So how are you feeling about your goals from 2014? Do you feel exhilarated because you got close or reached them, or do you perhaps feel defeated because you didn't get close? 

Even if you were nowhere near reaching your goals, focus on the progress you made. Focus on how you are changed today from who you were in January 2 2014. Focus on how much better capable and ready you are on January 2 2015 to achieve and receive all the success you have mapped out ahead. 

Release the past, but don't let go of your dreams. Don't lose sight of your goals. Remember, the road to success is not a straight line, it is filled with many detours, and paths which look like dead ends may actually be secret doors that lead you to outstanding rewards. 

Set your plans and your goals for 2015 with a mind for what worked and what didn't but with a fresh perspective and renewed hope for tomorrow is ahead of us and anything is possible! 

It's OK not to have goals

It is the beginning of a new year. A time for reflection, and for dreaming and for setting goals and resolutions. 

If you are an entrepreneur, or hope to become one, you have goals, you have a vision. You look at your surroundings and envision something bigger, something better. 

You probably also have people in your life, family and friends, people you love deeply and care for with all your heart, who don't. They wish for "a dream life" in some way, like a winning the lottery kind of way, but they don't have a big vision, they don't have big goals. When you share your goals with these people, you are sometimes met with derision and negativity. They completely accept their current life and job and TV evenings and Friday night family time with the Wii. 

Here's the thing. It's OK. They are allowed to have goals, they are allowed to accept mediocrity. They are allowed. Often these are people for whom you can envision a better life, a healthier life, a happier life. But, if they don't care, you can't wish it for them and you can't make them want it. 

One of my daily struggles is the suspension of judgement. It is something I pray for guidance with every night of my life. Those who I love, for whom I see something better who don't see it for themselves. It is so easy to fall into a place of judgement, a place where you believe they are wrong to not want more, not see more. 

But that's not our job. Our job is to love them. Without condition or cause. You can wish them the best, the happiest, the healthiest day or week or month or year or life.