It's great when it works

A phrase I've been known to use often is "Technology. It's great when it works!" This past week has been an extreme version of that in my life. Many years ago, I found an amazing vision correction technology called Orthokeratology or Ortho K. I wear hard contact lenses at night when I sleep and it reshapes my cornea. The result is similar to laser surgery without the laser. 

As I hit the middle of my 40s my vision has begun to change, and like all busy people I haven't made regular time to go to the eye doctor like I should, so only when my lenses aren't fitting properly or delivering the result I need to I make an appointment. 

Not surprisingly, my near vision is starting to diminish and my eyes have been naturally compensating for that, which is a good thing, but my old lenses weren't cooperating. As a result, I had been wearing my lenses during the day and causes some dryness in my cornea as well as a "dent" where the lenses were sitting slightly off position in my eye. 

SO I was ordered by my doctor to not wear my lenses for a few days. Under normal circumstances if I were to wear my lenses for a very short time (like only get a couple hours of sleep) my vision is slightly worse. I expected to have a gradual diminish in my vision. WRONG. I awoke on Tuesday with very near to my natural vision and very close if not completely natural vision on Wednesday. 

My vision is something like 20/400 or some ridiculous number. I can see the 1 large E about 1 foot from the screen in the office. So, I have spent the greater part of a week "in the dark" so to speak. I could see about 2-3 inches from my face, and not completely clearly at that.

Like most things in the age of technology, you don't realize how much you rely on your vision for EVERYTHING. I couldn't read a book, I could listen to the TV but not watch it. I could sort of get emails on my phone but trying to read or look at the computer for any length of time was exhausting. 

Of course, I haven't been able to drive, so I've been dependent on my husband to take me places, and I hate to ask so have been not running errands that need to be run, etc. 

Disorienting, frustrating, all in all not a lot of fun. I did play with the dogs a lot, which, of course, they enjoyed. We had a nice dinner out at an Italian restaurant with low lighting and I felt like I was able to appreciate the mood more than most not seeing outside our booth LOL.

I took some time for introspection and visualization, but these are things that are not easy for me, so it was a struggle.

Today, my vision is probably 75% and I am overjoyed. 

Definitely an experience of making me very thankful for the things we often take for granted! 

Sometimes the Leap Takes a Push

As we travel through this journey called life. Each new challenge brings with it new knowledge, new confidence and new self worth. 

So why is it that we resist them each at first? I've been sharing lately about the amazing results I'm experiencing with my new business coach Chris Suva. As I have found in my experience with working with a coach, I am pushed to do or create something bigger than I have before. I am pushed to step into a version of myself that perhaps others see, but I don't completely believe yet. 

As I am working on bringing my first full day event to fruition, I find myself alternating between excitement and terror, anticipation and self-doubt. Luckily for me, based on my very first session with Chris, I can look back and see how that exact feeling in the past has led me to some of my very best moments and finest achievements. 

Sometimes, in order to take that leap of faith, we need a little push. 

  

Stretching

Having been a runner since high school, I am a bit ashamed to admit I'm terrible at stretching. 

When my muscles are really stiff and sore and tight, of course then I do it, but as part of my normal workout routine, I'm horrible and I skip it almost all of the time. 

I got to thinking about it today as I was thinking about how much I'm being stretched by the next project I'm working on. How stretching can be uncomfortable, but it's a very good thing that helps you to perform better in all areas. 

Whenever I work with a business coach, (something I strongly recommend) I find myself pushed and stretched in ways that often greatly frighten me. My husband would admonish me and tell me that it's because others can plainly see "how great I am" it's only me that can't.

Working on this new project, under the banner of my "new" brand, I am alternately excited and terrified. I think that's a good sign that I'm on the right track as weird as that sounds. 

Where are you stretching these days? Or where have you stretched that brought you great results? I'd love to hear your stories!   

Beat the Winter Blues With a Stick

Although the days are technically getting longer, if you're anywhere where winter is winter, we are definitely in the "real winter months". The end of January and beginning of February seem to be the doldrums days when the short and cloudy days start to get to you. 

Here are 3 fun and silly ways to beat the winter blues away with a stick! 

1. Throw a luau party. That's right! Grab your favorite sundress or Hawaiian shirt and board shorts and bite the bullet with the gas company. Crank your heat up to 80 or more and invite a few friends over. Serve umbrella drinks and play the Beach Boys, Bob Marley or Jimmy Bufffet.
2. Turn your big screen TV into a virtual get-away. Rent Under the Tuscan Sun, The Beach with Leonardo DiCaprio or Motorcycle Diaries.
3. Create your own spa escape. Pull out that face mask and waste a couple of slices of cucumber. Play some water sounds and lay back on your couch in your robe or in a hot bubble bath. 

Small Nourishments

Have you ever noticed this? 

Some days, you get in the shower, and it's an item to get through as quickly as possible. 

Other days, you get in, and the warm water hits you and you feel like you could stand there forever. It's soothing and feels amazing. The warm water pounding on your back, the steam, the solitude. 

It's these tiny moments that we must recognize and capitalize on to nourish ourselves in spirit and body.

Though it may feel small, the simple act of allowing yourself to enjoy that time can return volumes in terms of your self-nourishment. 

Tips:

When that feeling hits you, allow yourself the extra 5 or 10 maybe even 15 minutes in the shower. If you're tight on time, I'm sure there is someplace you can make it up, skip the coffee shop run or telephone time.

Keep a couple of great products in or near the shower so you can make the most of those moments. I have a great salt scrub that I don't use every day and even a pack of body mud if I really want to treat myself. 

Embrace the experience. Just allow yourself the space to enjoy it without judgement or criticism. 

My hope for you in the coming week, is that if that moment hits you, you enjoy it. 

I'd love to hear your thoughts!  

When do buzz words become a turn off?

Having been a self-care advocate for going on 10 years now, I feel like the buzz word has lost its shine, and perhaps even turned the corner to become a bit of a turn off. 

This definitely impacted my recent re-branding efforts as I not only wanted to make my message clear and authentic, but obviously attractive as well. 

I think the best word I can come up with to encompass the change I feel has occurred with the phrasing is glib. 

Having spent almost 15 years in a very standard corporate environment, I was subjected to plenty of stereotypical managers who throw the latest buzz words out in every email and at every meeting, sometimes not even knowing the meaning. 

I look at the phenomenon of copyright loss with brands like Kleenex and Xerox where the brand name becomes so commonplace it replaces the original generic words (tissue and copier).

So, while I still feel there is extreme importance and value in taking time to care for yourself, I have changed my phraseology from self-care to self nourish.

I'd love to hear your thoughts? What do you think of when you hear "self-care"? Are there buzz words in your business or industry that have lost their shine?  

What does "Self-Care" mean to you?

Self-Care
We hear this term a lot. As women entrepreneurs and professionals, we have a pretty good idea of what this is supposed to be, right? But does it have a positive or a negative connotation to you?

I bet, for most of us, it's more negative than positive.

But why? And should it be that way? 

What exactly is negative about taking care of ourselves, so that we can be our best, to do all that we do for those around us. Whether that be friends, family, business associates, customers, or the world.

I love the analogy of the oxygen mask on the airplane. Put your own mask on first, before helping others. You can't be of use to those you care most about, if you are compromised.






But this term can mean any of at least a hundred things, if not more. I generally consider myself pretty good at this practice. I manage my stress levels pretty well, I take time to relax and do things that make me feel refreshed and ready to take on the world again.

But there are always things we can do better, right? 


When we think of "adding self-care to our routine" we often feel very overwhelmed. We feel like this is going to be one more item on our to-do list that isn't "necessary" or "high priority" and we portion that time for other things. 

I believe, that self-care is very necessary and very high priority. It is truly a way we need to nourish ourselves. We simply cannot do all of the things we want to do, need to do, are meant to do if we are not at our best.





And, I think that "adding self-care to our routine" is much like eating an elephant. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.






So, start with making a list. What are things that constitute self-care to you? My definition: things that make you feel refreshed, refilled, renewed and ready to take on the world again. 

Possibilities: 

• massage
• manicure/pedicure
• facial
• bath
• enjoying your favorite beverage on your deck or patio
• exercise
• clean eating
• chat with your best girlfriend
• a guilty pleasure movie or TV show possibly with popcorn
• a glass of wine, possibly with your best girlfriend or a special someone
• a great dessert or piece of amazing chocolate
• walk outdoors
• sauna
• steam
• makeover
• retail therapy - a new great outfit or pair of shoes
• time off - vacation or stay-cation
• read a book
• listen to music
• sing out loud
• dance to your favorite song

The list could go on and on and on. My best strategy for eating that elephant is pick 3, but no more than 5 things that make you feel refreshed, refilled, renewed and ready to take on the world again. 

1 "big" thing, something you aren't going to do every day or every week, but that would be a special treat and schedule that into your calendar no less than once per quarter (3 months) or as much as say once per month. (like a massage, pedicure, facial or vacation)

1 or 2 "medium or small" things, something you can do at least once a month, or as much as once a week. For me one of my top ones is lighting several candles in my family room and watching one of my favorite TV shows with the lights off and candles lit. 

1 or 2 "tiny" things, something you can do at least 3 times as week or as much as every day. Get a really great body lotion you can put on after every shower, pull out that skin care routine, and figure out how to do all of the steps, and DO THEM at least 3 times a week. 

If you try to schedule them all at once, you may feel overwhelmed again. So, once you have your list of 3, add 1 item per week to your schedule for the upcoming 3 month period. If you start with the "big" thing, and work your way to the "tiny" things, they will be much easier to "digest".

I would love to hear your lists. Share in the comments what your 3 items are and if you already have any of them scheduled on your calendar. 

Reflections

Why is it, as women, that we are so uncomfortable with our reflection? I remember, whenever I encountered one of those horrible lighted magnifying makeup mirrors, even when I was younger and cuter, I reacted with an AH like I'd been spooked and a thought that I didn't need to see myself quite THAT close up. 



Who doesn't love to see those before and after photos where someone has gone through an amazing transformation?


We see those and find hope, inspiration and strength.


There is so much power and triumph in those before and after photos, yet we resist really looking at that "before" in the mirror.



Much more difficult to look at than our physical reflections is our internal reflections. I had a spectacular speaker at one of my events last year, Dr. Shannon Burke, and she spoke eloquently about how difficult we women find it to stay quiet and still, even though our most brilliant inspiration often comes from these very moments.

Every one of those amazing before and after photos exist because at some point, she made a decision to change that before. To stop being that before. But we can't make a decision to stop being the before if we refuse to look at it.





Now, I am not going to tell you to "step out of your comfort zone" because frankly, I think that phrase has been overused so much that it has completely lost its impact. 

Instead, let's beef up the fight in our fight or flight response and lean in to the fear. Put up your dukes and don't back down from the reflections in those quiet moments. 

We all have things, situations, parts of our lives that we tolerate. Things that maybe don't fit any longer or that we've just not been brave enough or inconvenienced enough to really examine and change. 

Lean in, face the fear and sit in the quiet reflection of you. Dare to look at those things in your life that you silently wish were different. 

Dare to imagine your "After". 

I would love to hear your reflections in the comments if you're brave enough to share...

Women Entrepreneurs are the World’s best Jugglers

How true is that?

• What woman entrepreneur you know doesn't do at least 3 jobs?
• Who makes it look effortless most of the time?
• Who doesn't get thanked enough?
• Who slowly and quietly gets more overwhelmed each day?
• Who seldom complains about the load she bears?

And of all the hats we wear, we are nearly always supporting, doing or caring for someone else. 

So, when do you decide it's time to take care of you? And if you ever make this difficult and guilt inspiring decision, who is it that does take care of you?

Run down the list of hats you wear in a typical day, or week, or month, and consider how those who are paid as professionals in each field demand to be treated and served. 

Chefs have dishwashers, most professions have secretaries, or assistants, some professions have entire staff to tend to things that are outside their expertise.

And you, a busy woman entrepreneur, do all of these, only get paid for one maybe two of them and insist that your needs can wait.

and wait...

and wait...

and wait...

But what happens when they can't wait any longer? What happens when you finally hit that tipping point? What happens when you burn out mentally, emotionally or physically?

People in your life will step up and pitch in and they will care for you. And then you'll feel even more guilty.

So what if you decided that taking care of you, self-care, that thing that you know you're supposed to do, but just never manage to get around to, was important. What if you decided that it was a priority? 

What if you could come up with a way to do that on a regular basis and not feel guilty?

Impossible?

Maybe not.

There are a thousand little things you can do in a day to lower your stress level and take a little bit of self-care without neglecting your loved ones, your business or your ever growing to-do list.

Here are a few to inspire you to do a little self-care today...

• Give yourself a mini facial - grab one of those sets of beauty products you bought but never took the time to use and do all the steps. Enjoy the glow and great feeling skin.
• Listen to your favorite song. Turn the volume up loud. Before you pick up the kids, sing all the lyrics at the top of your lungs and chair dance if you want to.
• Call your best girlfriend and share a funny memory.
• Do a random act of kindness for someone who cannot return the favor, buy a cup of coffee for the person behind you in line; pay a parking meter; give a McDonalds or Subway gift card to a homeless person.
• Send yourself a note or card - in the mail.

There are so many people in your life that you want to serve. You are a woman entrepreneur, you want to get out there in the world in a bigger way, share your mission; spread your message; help more people. Don’t all of those people deserve the very best you have to give?

Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish or self-indulgent. Taking care of yourself is the most important thing you can do to be of service to those you are put here to serve.

Shannon Bednowicz

https://www.facebook.com/WholeSelfNourish
http://www.ShannonBednowicz.com/

Click the comment box below and share what self-care practice you are going to implement today!

What does "Self-Care" mean to you?

Self-Care

We hear this term a lot. As women entrepreneurs and professionals, we have a pretty good idea of what this is supposed to be, right? 

Taking care of ourselves, so that we can be our best, to do all that we do for those around us. Whether that be friends, family, business associates, customers, or the world.

I love the analogy of the oxygen mask on the airplane. Put your own mask on first, before helping others. You can't be of use to those you care most about, if you are compromised.






But this term can mean any of at least a hundred things, if not more. I generally consider myself pretty good at this practice. I manage my stress levels pretty well, I take time to relax and do things that make me feel refreshed and ready to take on the world again.

But there are always things we can do better, right?

When we think of "adding self-care to our routine" we often feel very overwhelmed. We feel like this is going to be one more item on our to-do list that isn't "necessary" or "high priority" and we portion that time for other things. 

I believe, that self-care is very necessary and very high priority. Remember the oxygen mask analogy? We simply cannot do all of the things we want to do, need to do, are meant to do if we are not at our best.





And, I think that "adding self-care to our routine" is much like eating an elephant. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.






So, start with making a list. What are things that constitute self-care to you? My definition: things that make you feel refreshed, refilled, renewed and ready to take on the world again. 

Possibilities: 

• massage
• manicure/pedicure
• facial
• bath
• enjoying your favorite beverage on your deck or patio
• exercise
• clean eating
• chat with your best girlfriend
• a guilty pleasure movie or TV show possibly with popcorn
• a glass of wine, possibly with your best girlfriend or a special someone
• a great dessert
• walk outdoors
• sauna
• steam
• makeover
• retail therapy - a new great outfit or pair of shoes
• time off - vacation or stay-cation
• read a book
• listen to music
• sing out loud
• dance to your favorite song

The list could go on and on and on. My best strategy for eating that elephant is pick no more than 5 things that make you feel refreshed, refilled, renewed and ready to take on the world again. 

At least 1 that is a "big" thing, something you aren't going to do every day or every week, but would be a special treat and schedule that into your calendar no less than once per quarter (3 months) or as much as say once per month. (like a massage, pedicure, facial or vacation)

1 or 2 "medium or small" things, something you can do at least once a month, or as much as once a week. For me one of my top ones is lighting several candles in my family room and watching one of my favorite TV shows with the lights off and candles lit. 

1 to 3 "tiny" things, something you can do at least 3 times as week or as much as every day. Get a really great body lotion you can put on after every shower, pull out that skin care routine, and figure out how to do all of the steps, and DO THEM at least 3 times a week. 

If you try to schedule them all at once, you may feel overwhelmed again. So, once you have your list of 5, add 1 item per week to your schedule for the upcoming 3 month period. If you start with the "big" thing, and work your way to the "tiny" things, they will be much easier to "digest".

I would love to hear your lists. Share in the comments what your 5 items are and if you already have any of them scheduled on your calendar. 

Let's Get Naked

In the world of social media, interesting and uplifting things manage to hit my radar every so often. Last week, it was this great story, song and video by an artist, Colbie Caillat, who I would never have heard of as it's not the kind of music I typically listen to. 

You can read the story, and watch and listen to the video at the link behind the pic. 

It not only inspired me as a powerful message for our young women, and some of the older women I know too, but it really got me to thinking about some of those universal truths.

We have all known girls, had girlfriends, or even sometimes been those girls who were so desperate to be in a relationship that they tried to be something they were not. Not in an effort to be false, or to hide or be dishonest, but innocently enough, just trying to be what "that person" wanted, or what she or we thought "that person" wanted.

I think we all also know that in the end, that is not only unsuccessful for the obvious reasons, but it is also kind of unattractive. 

People know when you're not being your authentic self. Maybe they don't know they know it but they sense it. They sense your genuine self. One of those things I can look back and remember learning quite keenly as an Over 40 Female, is the process of learning to like myself. Really like myself. 

The other thing I learned is that it's pretty unreasonable to ask someone else to like you if you don't actually like yourself. 

And here's the universal truth part - this not only applies to romantic relationships, but also to family, friends and business. 

The more you really like that person in the mirror, and the more you really authentically show up as that person in the mirror, the more attractive you become, on every level. 

Don't get me wrong, you won't see me out too often with no makeup or my hair not done, but I am willing to put myself out there naked now. 

It even inspired me to put together a special event with Chicago Over 40 Females. 

When you're all alone by yourself do you like you?