Ever notice that how you do anything is how you do everything?

I find so often that running is a metaphor for my life. I was out on my first 6 mile run of the season today and noticed 3 pretty big points that directly correlate to my business. 

I'm behind on my half marathon training compared to where I feel I should be based on the date of my race and my past experience. 

Of course, I still ran the run that was on the schedule for today. With little consideration to whether i was ready or not. So I ran my first 6 mile of the season 2 days after my first 5 mile of the season. As a seasoned runner, I know that could possibly be a recipe for disaster, but I'm more focused on the goal and the outcome than the process and the journey. Have to hit that finish line! 

Thankfully I stopped myself from trying to do an 8 mile run the following day. I have some sane moments after all.

I do this in my business, in my house work, I beat myself up for not doing this long laundry list of things I've set up for myself because I'm so focused on the result and I want the result NOW. As a result, I don't do all the things, and then feel bad because I'm "behind".

How friggin silly!!!!!!!

I'm binary. My husband makes fun of me all the time that I have a binary bladder. I don't have to go to the bathroom, and then I have to go right NOW!

I noticed that about my running today. I'd be running (jogging) and I'd run until I was near my aerobic threshold, then I would stop (walk) until I caught my breath and rinse and repeat. Even after I noticed this, and took note that if I could just throttle my speed I could sustain it for so much longer. I'll be going along and my pace app will announce current pace 8 minutes 30 seconds per mile, split pace 11 minutes 48 seconds per mile. What the heck am I doing running at an 8:30 pace? That's a much faster pace than I can sustain, so I hold it until I can't hold it any longer than walk 10 paces or so then repeat. If I could hold a 9:30 or 9:45 pace, I could sustain it for a long period of time. 

This is true in many areas of my life. I have 2 speeds, stop and go. I get moving on something and push until I can't sustain the pace any longer, then I come to a complete stand still. I need to learn to move at a sustainable pace. Throttle my efforts and push through a mild level of discomfort rather than "take a break" as soon as I feel fatigue setting in.

Today I went on one of my first runs of the season without the dogs. When I run with the dogs, they need to stop to go to the bathroom, they stop at all cross streets, and are sometimes distracted by this or that causing us to stop for a moment or two. I've gotten used to that. 

Running alone today, I did my first sustained effort of 3 miles. It was tough, reminded me that I need to build up my stamina considerably before my 13.1 race mid July.

I let others set the pace. I enjoy pacing with others, but I allow it to hold me back. I can see where I sometimes do this in other areas of my life. It is easy and comfortable to stay at the speed and pace that someone is doing so I don't have to push myself, stretch myself. It also reminds me that I need to step up and into my role as a leader more fully in some areas of my life and inspire others to step up to MY pace.

How about you? Do you see any of these weird habits showing up in your life? 

1. The "I'm behind I need to catch up" mentality
2. Two speeds, stop and full speed and nothing in between
3. Letting others set a "comfortable" pace below your own capabilities 

What's your story?

Ever have that feeling hours, or the day after a really great workout when you're sore but it feels really great? Not in a masochistic way, but that sore that lets you know you did an awesome job! 

I'm finding that you can get that feeling from some really great inner workouts too! 
I spent last weekend at the Millionaire Mind Intensive Experience and it was awesome! But I've definitely got some sore muscles. 

It's funny how parallels show up in your life and, in my case, sometimes allow you to do work in overlapping areas simultaneously. Working with my coach, I am starting to dig through my story. What is my story and how does it relate to my next step? What parts of my story serve me and what parts of my story have helped to carve those amazing gifts into me? What parts of my story are ready to be let go? 

Then I went to this weekend experience and in order to change my mindset around money, I needed to get in touch with my story and find out what parts are no longer serving me and let them go. It was revelationary and really intense and kind of cathartic. 

I've definitely got more work to do but it's kind of cool to see the patterns in my story and the links between stories that I previously viewed as very compartmentalized and to just let go of some stories that simply don't serve me or anyone else any longer. 

How about you? What is your story? Are you ready to let go of your old story right now and start a new story? Are you ready to share your story so you can use it to make more if an impact in the world by helping women follow or steer clear of the path you have taken?   

Baby Steps with Lead Shoes

Life is truly amazing. When you declare what you want in that certain way, when you set a goal or create an affirmation and it is so visceral that you feel a tightness in your chest when you think about it, you know something is different. You know, I knew, something big is coming. 

Those of you who have been following along lately have heard me blame my amazing Coach Christine Suva for my most recent big amazing project. 

It's amazing how when you start building momentum how fast things shift. It was less than 2 months ago that the idea for my first full day event, Whole Self Nourish came out of our first official coaching call. I was scared sick over how or if I would be able to pull it off. Even the day of the event, heck even two days after the event, I was still nervous. 

And yet, here I am today, joyfully, confidently working on the second Whole Self Nourish Day on July 25th. I already have speakers and partners registered and on board and I should have my location secured within the week. Partners I was even a little nervous about approaching were totally psyched to get on board and be a part of the event. One partner went so far as to say 

Im in! Not sure what's going on but whatever you're doing i wanna be a part of it. :-)

Of course, something even bigger was pushing its way into my life. I keep telling Christine, my coach, I'm starting to get really terrified as what my life is going to look like after 6 months of us working together because in just the first month two really huge things already started moving, and moving with purpose. 

So, I'm stepping into the next big amazing project. It requires some self discovery, a little skill and story inventory, and trying to re-connect with that "little braggart self" I talked about last week. A few weeks back, I experienced an amazing presentation from Wendy Lipton Dibner. The replay is up for just a few more days, I would highly recommend investing 90 minutes of your time. You won't regret it! The second assignment is to help you discover your unique gift to the world, the thing that you probably take for granted because it comes easily to you. The message is becoming clearer and clearer that this new direction is where I'm going right now, whether I feel ready or not.

So I'm stepping into it. I'm taking definitive daily action. I'm spending lots of daily time on introspection and trying to change that inner conversation from "Who do you think you are?" to "You've totally got this!". Thank you, by the way to all of you who contributed to my homework assignment with your spectacular words of support. And thank you to my personal cheer-leading squad who spurred this next evolution, you guys totally rock my socks off! 

But I'm taking small definitive daily action. One baby step after another, and I feel like I'm wearing lead shoes! Man what a workout! My quads and glutes are going to look amazing!   

I'm not ready to spill the beans quite yet but you know coming from me it will be FUN, so stay tuned! 

Mirror Mirror

I heard a great statement at a presentation last week

You can't read the label from inside the jar.

What a succinct way to say it. It's amazing to me how we can see things so clearly except when it comes to our own reflection.

Many of you are experts in human behavior or insights in one way or another, and yet, when it comes to shining that light on yourself, you can't read your own label. 

It's too bad that we all grow out of our "little braggart self". 

One of my all time favorite blog posts is about Amelia.

I had several intense experiences last week that are propelling me into my NEXT BIG THING because this journey I'm on seems to have a life of its own.

As I turn my vision to myself and start to claim and step into those unique gifts that are mine to bless the world with, I find myself in that inner struggle between YES I AM AWESOME and I'm not worthy or I'm not enough.

Definitely as I step out onto a bigger playing field and use more of my own voice rather than lending my voice to the backing vocals of another lead, I feel that struggle even more. 

I am SO thankful for my amazing people who support me, and my AMAZING ROCK STAR coach who manages to uplift me in such an uncanny way.

I'm learning to see that one of those unique gifts of mine is that very ability to see that in others. It's tough for me to see because if you asked me, I'd just underplay it and say I just pay attention to information that is there for everyone to see. 

I'm starting to realize that I may see things differently that others do. When I say things, I mean people, situations, business models, plans, strategies, etc. Most impactfully, I think, I see people through a lens of genuine love and support. To me, it just seems like how things are, but I'm learning that it isn't how things are for everyone. 

I look at you and see Amelia with all her quirky brilliance and unbridled potential, what do you see?  What inner voices to you hear as you step into the next steps on your journey?  

Sometimes the Leap Takes a Push

As we travel through this journey called life. Each new challenge brings with it new knowledge, new confidence and new self worth. 

So why is it that we resist them each at first? I've been sharing lately about the amazing results I'm experiencing with my new business coach Chris Suva. As I have found in my experience with working with a coach, I am pushed to do or create something bigger than I have before. I am pushed to step into a version of myself that perhaps others see, but I don't completely believe yet. 

As I am working on bringing my first full day event to fruition, I find myself alternating between excitement and terror, anticipation and self-doubt. Luckily for me, based on my very first session with Chris, I can look back and see how that exact feeling in the past has led me to some of my very best moments and finest achievements. 

Sometimes, in order to take that leap of faith, we need a little push. 

  

Stretching

Having been a runner since high school, I am a bit ashamed to admit I'm terrible at stretching. 

When my muscles are really stiff and sore and tight, of course then I do it, but as part of my normal workout routine, I'm horrible and I skip it almost all of the time. 

I got to thinking about it today as I was thinking about how much I'm being stretched by the next project I'm working on. How stretching can be uncomfortable, but it's a very good thing that helps you to perform better in all areas. 

Whenever I work with a business coach, (something I strongly recommend) I find myself pushed and stretched in ways that often greatly frighten me. My husband would admonish me and tell me that it's because others can plainly see "how great I am" it's only me that can't.

Working on this new project, under the banner of my "new" brand, I am alternately excited and terrified. I think that's a good sign that I'm on the right track as weird as that sounds. 

Where are you stretching these days? Or where have you stretched that brought you great results? I'd love to hear your stories!   

If the shoe doesn't fit...

I think we're all familiar with the Cinderella story. Think over the part where the glass slipper has been found and the stepsisters are trying to get it to fit. Not because they find the shoe beautiful, not because it is a comfortable shoe, but because they believe ownership of the shoe will get them their desired end goal, to marry the prince. Of course, as you know, the significant obstacle here is that the shoe simply does NOT fit. No matter how they squeeze and struggle, nothing they do will change that. 

Do we ever unwittingly find ourselves in this same pattern in our business? 

Stay with me here... 

You see an idea, a business model, a strategy and you see how well it is working for someone. You perceive that it even takes them across a goal line that you are eager to achieve. That may be a title, a monetary earning amount, a significant achievement of any kind. 

But when you try to implement the same thing, it simply doesn't work for you, it doesn't have the same result, and you don't understand. 

Say, for example, you are a business coach, and you are trying to grow your practice to a $10K a month practice. And you run across another business coach, and learn that she has a $12K a month practice. (It's magic that you find this out, just stick with me here) And you see that she is active on twitter and even gaining new clients through here twitter conversations. 

So, you study twitter, you model her activity, and after 6 months, you don't have a single new client through twitter. 

For any number of reasons, this marketing model may simply not work for you. There may be more to it than you are aware of, for example, these conversations may have started with a live referral, or her audience may be significantly different than yours.

Now this is an overly simplistic example for illustration sake, but the principle is there. I think that sometimes, we see something and we believe that it is going to get us the end result we are looking for, and we get hung up on that "thing". Maybe it's a vehicle for delivering your product or service, maybe it's a business model, it could be any number of things.

So...

If the shoe doesn't fit, move on. 

I think we get tunnel vision sometimes and we think that the vehicle we are in is the only one that can get us to our destination. That simply isn't true. If you are at point A and you want to get to point B, there are any number of vehicles that will get you there, at differing speeds, and with differing levels of comfort, but they will all get you there. 

Be willing to move on. Try something else. 

How about you? Can you relate? Have you found yourself in this pattern? I'd love to hear your comments! 

Who do you Love?

If there were someone you really loved and you wanted them to know, what would you do? 

How would you touch them? 

What would you say? 

What things might you show them?

Would you remind them of things they have done that made you feel great? 

Would you share with them the traits and characteristics that really touch your heart? 






Would you leave them little notes? 














What if that person was you? 











Each day, you have the chance to show yourself love. How often do you take yourself for granted? How often do you neglect that face in the mirror? 
How would you treat that face differently if it were the face of your child, your spouse, your best friend, your mother, your father, your hero? 

You deserve it all. 

Beat the Winter Blues With a Stick

Although the days are technically getting longer, if you're anywhere where winter is winter, we are definitely in the "real winter months". The end of January and beginning of February seem to be the doldrums days when the short and cloudy days start to get to you. 

Here are 3 fun and silly ways to beat the winter blues away with a stick! 

1. Throw a luau party. That's right! Grab your favorite sundress or Hawaiian shirt and board shorts and bite the bullet with the gas company. Crank your heat up to 80 or more and invite a few friends over. Serve umbrella drinks and play the Beach Boys, Bob Marley or Jimmy Bufffet.
2. Turn your big screen TV into a virtual get-away. Rent Under the Tuscan Sun, The Beach with Leonardo DiCaprio or Motorcycle Diaries.
3. Create your own spa escape. Pull out that face mask and waste a couple of slices of cucumber. Play some water sounds and lay back on your couch in your robe or in a hot bubble bath. 

Isn't it funny how we see exactly what we're looking at?

Isn't it amazing how you can listen to the same thing over and over again, and each time you can hear something completely different? Or read the same words over and over and learn something completely different? 
AND 
how you hear what you need to hear when you need to hear it? 

Now, I've gone to Tony Robbins live 3 day event Ultimate Power Within and walked on fire. I have his Ultimate Edge program and I've completed it fully twice before. 

Recently, my situation changed at my day job and I now have a long commute two days a week. To combat the negative energy I was creating, I pulled out my Ultimate Edge program and have been listening to it on my commute time. It definitely has been serving the purpose of improving my attitude, my focus and my outlook.

My little back story on focus and clarity...

I was with a direct sales company for 8 years and had greatly varying degrees of success and failure. In the end, I could focus on nothing but the problem of getting in front of more of the right people. 

Through working with a coach, (this is the SUPER readers digest version) I started a women's networking group in early 2013. (Gather those "right people" in front of me).

Almost a whole year goes by, and although my networking group is thriving, my direct sales business has not gained one inch of traction. 

In the late fall of 2013, I shifted gears and changed from the direct sales business I had been building for almost 9 years and started a network marketing business. Similar business model, but not the same and definitely much more strongly aligned with my values and mission from the core of the company to the leadership to the products. I had a strong start and gained some momentum quickly, but then hit a bit of a stall. Over the next year, things were going OK, I was, and am earning a consistent income but my business is just not growing.

I started asking myself why success and confidence had come fairly easily to me
in the business of running the networking organization, where I had very little experience, and why I was struggling to build my network marketing business, especially in the area of confidence. 

I know I have a rock solid belief in the company and in the industry. 

So, this week, I was listening to the section of Personal Power on Driving Force. (Now, we're back to my point from the beginning - how you can hear the same thing multiple times but you don't *hear* it until you are ready to hear it)

So Tony is talking about our human needs of Certainty, Uncertainty, Significance, Love and Connection, Growth and Contribution, and he's explaining how the things that we LOVE to do, that seem effortless, that we excel at, those things meet all or most of those needs at near a level 10.

I start doing the exercise and going through my experience with my networking group, and darned if he isn't right! 

Then he talks about things that we don't enjoy doing, that we struggle to do, and how they don't meet those needs and how this makes us not want to do them and not enjoy doing them when we do.

Again, as I do the exercise, I see holy COW this is where it is, this is where my discomfort is coming from! 

And, of course, the best part is that he shares how we can take these experiences, and by changing our perspective, our outlook or our procedure, we can shift them into those same types of experiences we absolutely love and excel at. 

So, today I share the questions (not my original ideas, mind you - these are courtesy of Mr. Tony Robbins) to ponder so you can take a look at one of the areas in your life where you are struggling, but can't figure out why and see if a perspective change might make the difference for you as well.  

On a 0-10 scale, how much does this activity make you feel...

1. Certain / Comfortable
Ask yourself: What could I do or believe to make thinking about this activity feel not only comfortable but pleasurable? What skill could I improve ?

2. Uncertain / Variety
Ask yourself: How could I bring more variety or surprise to this activity? 

3. Significance / Importance
Ask yourself: How can I appreciate how important this is? 

4. Love and Connection
Ask yourself: How can I feel more love while I'm doing this? 

5. Growth and Contribution
Ask yourself: How can I feel like I'm growing and contributing? 

You get what you focus on, and when you ask better questions, you get better answers. 

When we are struggling in an area of our lives, especially when it comes to business, I think we focus on the forces outside of ourselves and we try to improve them even when we try to improve ourselves to affect them. Sometimes, we need to change our point of view, and focus on the forces inside of ourselves and the world around us will shift naturally.

I'd love to hear your experience. Where are you struggling and what change in focus do you think would cause a shift in your perspective?

How are your 40s treating you so far?

When you were a little girl, and you looked at your mom, didn't you think she had all the answers? That she had it all figured out? 

As you went into college, didn't you just assume that when you hit 40, life would kind of be all buttoned up? When I look back at my Mom in her 40s her life was on total auto pilot, or at least that's how it seemed to me.

So how is it, that almost every 40 something woman I know is going through or has gone through an enormous life transition? 

Kids move out, or family just getting started. 
Laid off or just decided you've had enough of the grind and want to do something you're passionate about.
Found the love of your life, or gone through a separation or divorce.
Experienced the loss of your parents or significant family member.

Sometimes all of the above.

In the past few years, I've been laid off, failed as an entrepreneur, had to go back to a corporate job, still kept plugging away at my entrepreneurial venture part time, started 2 new entrepreneurial ventures, completely re-branded, lost both my maternal grandparents, my only maternal uncle and my paternal grandmother, and my parents moved across the country. 

If you are anything like me, you have found that your 40's are not the kick back and take it easy time of your life that you imagined them to be as a young girl.

You've grown up, you've wised up and you've decided you're not going to live with the status quo any longer. 

And you're doing something about it.

Chances are, you're also experiencing a bit of resistance from those who know and love you the most. Maybe they don't get what "all the fuss is about". Maybe they don't understand why average just isn't good enough for you any more. Maybe they think you need to "serve your time" until you "get to retire", because that is what they see as the goal. 

I suggest you thank them for their opinion and let them know you respect their option to feel that way asking that they return the favor, respecting your option to feel the way you do. Let them know you're not asking them to even support you, just not actively dissuade you, and offer not to share about it unless they ask. (It's likely they'll ask, especially when you start rockin' it out!)

Times are different than they were 20 or 30 years ago when our moms were in their 40's. The world is a much smaller, more accessible place. We see our options and our possibilities in ways that our moms didn't. 

Many of us, decided that we wanted something different, something more, something better. Something that makes us feel full of passion. Something that gives us a sense of purpose. Something that gives us security. Something that makes us feel like we are making a difference, making an impact, making the world a better place even if that's just for the people we touch.

Know that you are not alone. Know that there are plenty of us going through the same things you are, or who already have. We are here, willing to support, champion, mentor and stand shoulder to shoulder with you.

Let's Connect! 
  

Insulation and Reception

Most of the time, in my life, I am surrounded by amazing, uplifting, inspiring, authentic people (sorry guys, mostly it's women). A lot of this is certainly by design. Years ago, after I started my entrepreneurial journey, I embarked as many of you have, on a personal development journey as well. As I'm sure you have, as part of that journey, I have broken away from habits, places and people that don't serve me, and distanced myself from most negativity. 

I don't watch the TV news, or listen to the radio news. Heck, we've been using a digital video recorder for so long, I have barely seen a commercial in the past 5 years. 

I don't participate in gossip if I can help it (we're all human, and it does happen to me on occasion too).

I had a very bad experience with a destructive supervisor (at my day job) and I took steps and removed myself from that situation, changing jobs and moving into an environment that serves me much better (for as long as I'm still holding on to that day job).

As a result, I have become a person that is incredibly receptive to others. Just last night, at one of my monthly networking events with my group of Chicago Over 40 Females, we had an amazing discussion around some challenges one of our members is working through in re-inventing her business model. It was one of those really deep, engaging conversations and we all tapped into the positive energy of one another on an amazing level and really all learned a LOT about ourselves and one another. 

As with most things, there's a rub. The more open and receptive you become, the more you open yourself up to being vulnerable and raw when you do become exposed to the negative and destructive forces in the world. 

This morning, I found myself on the periphery of some unprofessional, immature social media brew haha. I found that it bothered me a great deal more than it should have and I think it is because of being so open and receptive to the amazing good energy I am normally surrounded by. 

My pondering for the day is ... how do you properly insulate yourself from the negativity while remaining receptive to the positive influences around you? 

Luckily for me, that very group of amazing ladies gave me a fantastic gift of a beautiful jar filled with heart felt notes of thanks, and I was able to fend off the negative energy by going to that beautiful jar and reading some amazing words letting me know that I am, in fact, making a positive impact on the world around me.

I'd love to hear your thoughts! 

When do buzz words become a turn off?

Having been a self-care advocate for going on 10 years now, I feel like the buzz word has lost its shine, and perhaps even turned the corner to become a bit of a turn off. 

This definitely impacted my recent re-branding efforts as I not only wanted to make my message clear and authentic, but obviously attractive as well. 

I think the best word I can come up with to encompass the change I feel has occurred with the phrasing is glib. 

Having spent almost 15 years in a very standard corporate environment, I was subjected to plenty of stereotypical managers who throw the latest buzz words out in every email and at every meeting, sometimes not even knowing the meaning. 

I look at the phenomenon of copyright loss with brands like Kleenex and Xerox where the brand name becomes so commonplace it replaces the original generic words (tissue and copier).

So, while I still feel there is extreme importance and value in taking time to care for yourself, I have changed my phraseology from self-care to self nourish.

I'd love to hear your thoughts? What do you think of when you hear "self-care"? Are there buzz words in your business or industry that have lost their shine?  

Don't let your past dictate your future

So many of us find ourselves looking back at 2014 having not reached the goals we set for ourselves. One of my favorite a ha moments from my first Jack Canfield live training was his story about his goal to earn his first million dollars, how he didn't reach it, but he got close and was very happy with his results. 

So how are you feeling about your goals from 2014? Do you feel exhilarated because you got close or reached them, or do you perhaps feel defeated because you didn't get close? 

Even if you were nowhere near reaching your goals, focus on the progress you made. Focus on how you are changed today from who you were in January 2 2014. Focus on how much better capable and ready you are on January 2 2015 to achieve and receive all the success you have mapped out ahead. 

Release the past, but don't let go of your dreams. Don't lose sight of your goals. Remember, the road to success is not a straight line, it is filled with many detours, and paths which look like dead ends may actually be secret doors that lead you to outstanding rewards. 

Set your plans and your goals for 2015 with a mind for what worked and what didn't but with a fresh perspective and renewed hope for tomorrow is ahead of us and anything is possible! 

It's OK not to have goals

It is the beginning of a new year. A time for reflection, and for dreaming and for setting goals and resolutions. 

If you are an entrepreneur, or hope to become one, you have goals, you have a vision. You look at your surroundings and envision something bigger, something better. 

You probably also have people in your life, family and friends, people you love deeply and care for with all your heart, who don't. They wish for "a dream life" in some way, like a winning the lottery kind of way, but they don't have a big vision, they don't have big goals. When you share your goals with these people, you are sometimes met with derision and negativity. They completely accept their current life and job and TV evenings and Friday night family time with the Wii. 

Here's the thing. It's OK. They are allowed to have goals, they are allowed to accept mediocrity. They are allowed. Often these are people for whom you can envision a better life, a healthier life, a happier life. But, if they don't care, you can't wish it for them and you can't make them want it. 

One of my daily struggles is the suspension of judgement. It is something I pray for guidance with every night of my life. Those who I love, for whom I see something better who don't see it for themselves. It is so easy to fall into a place of judgement, a place where you believe they are wrong to not want more, not see more. 

But that's not our job. Our job is to love them. Without condition or cause. You can wish them the best, the happiest, the healthiest day or week or month or year or life. 

Thought Pirates

Have you ever suffered an attack by a thought pirate? 

You're going about your day, possibly even really concentrating on a task at hand, or a plan for a project. 

The Thought Pirate comes from out of nowhere! 

A completely random, possibly destructive thought not only enters your mind, but completely derails your mental course, driving you into uncharted waters, even a maelstrom.

I think we've all been victims of the Thought Pirates! 

The Thought Pirates come in several varieties: 

The Joker 

This pirate has no malevolent intent, simply to entertain. These Pirates attack with things like a random Michael Jackson song or an image you saw last week on Facebook of a baby opossum. The fastest way to defeat this Pirate variety is simply to acknowledge the entertainment value of the attack, take the momentary pause and then return to your previous course. 

The Distractor

This pirate has little malevolent intent, however a strong intent to divert your attention. These Pirates most often attack when you feel a slight urge to procrastinate from an unpleasant or tedious task. They may even use a stealthy attack method which seems like another, less unpleasant or tedious task such as a grocery or errand list.  The fastest way to defeat this Pirate variety is to recognize the intent and grab a notebook; jot down the errant thought and commit to return to it only when your current task is complete. 

The Disarmer

This is the most deadly Pirate and has completely malevolent intent. These Pirates attack with your worst fears and doubts. Much like Hollywood uses cgi to make a paper airplane look like a fully armed spaceship, these Pirates use trick lighting and special effects to make your fears and doubts seem real and worse, relevant to the task you are working to complete. Preparation is the best way to defeat these nasty Pirates. When you are setting out on a task that pushes you or is going to take you into difficult territory, arm your mental ship and staff some lookouts. Positive thoughts are great armor remind yourself what you are working to achieve and exactly how you will benefit, especially the feelings you will have as a result of achieving it. Give your lookout brief affirming statements as the call to arms. When these Pirates attack, repeat the short statements at the first sight, before they get into range to grapple your ship.

You can defeat the Thought Pirates!          

Serenity, Control, Focus and Choices

Serenity.

Most of us have heard these words in some form or another. Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. 

This motto has served me well now for many years, nearly 20 in fact, but very recently I had a significant struggle that was deeply affecting me. 

In my family, and among most people I know I am the joyful one, the positive one, the one that lets things go. But recently at my 9-5, my office (not the position or the company, just the physical location) closed and we have been relocated to a new location. The result of this is that my commute 2-3 days a week when I work in the office, increased from 15-20 minutes to 75-90 minutes. Each way. 

I have spent a lot of time being cranky and crabby and even drained and mentally exhausted over the past 2 weeks. Now, I grant you 2 weeks is not a lot of time, but for a person who is generally positive and joyful it has felt like a lifetime. 

Just yesterday, I was reciting this poem/prayer in my mind and berating the thoughts that this drive time, the traffic and the rude other drivers are all things I can't control, and I spent my energy trying to convince myself that I needed to find a way to accept them. 

Thankfully, I am a student of personal development. This morning, I grabbed one of my Anthony Robbins audio courses that I have completed before, but knew his energy and his words would be positive food for my mind during the 90 minute drive time. 

I was right. using that time to MY advantage, I regained control. 

THAT is the thing that was making me angry. I don't discount significance of the loss of 3 hours in my day, and the motivation that gives me to grow my entrepreneurial efforts so that I can retire from my 9-5 permanently. But my focus was going to the wrong place because of the loss of control. 

Whether you are a typical OCD type, or you have anyone in your life who has ever mentioned that you have control issues or are a control freak, we ALL have control issues. When we feel that someone or something outside of ourselves has taken control of us in some way, we fight it. We get angry. We get resentful. Most dangerously, we often become complacent. 

There are things in all of our lives that we cannot control. That is very true. What I noticed this week is that we still have choices. 

Even in a situation that is not of your making, even in the worst possible circumstance, you can choose what you focus on. 

And THAT will make all the difference! 

Today, rather than lamenting the control that has been taken from me, I focus on the choices I still have. I control my thoughts, I control my attitude, I control my influence. 

What choices would or could you make differently if you shifted your focus? 

Reflections

Why is it, as women, that we are so uncomfortable with our reflection? I remember, whenever I encountered one of those horrible lighted magnifying makeup mirrors, even when I was younger and cuter, I reacted with an AH like I'd been spooked and a thought that I didn't need to see myself quite THAT close up. 



Who doesn't love to see those before and after photos where someone has gone through an amazing transformation?


We see those and find hope, inspiration and strength.


There is so much power and triumph in those before and after photos, yet we resist really looking at that "before" in the mirror.



Much more difficult to look at than our physical reflections is our internal reflections. I had a spectacular speaker at one of my events last year, Dr. Shannon Burke, and she spoke eloquently about how difficult we women find it to stay quiet and still, even though our most brilliant inspiration often comes from these very moments.

Every one of those amazing before and after photos exist because at some point, she made a decision to change that before. To stop being that before. But we can't make a decision to stop being the before if we refuse to look at it.





Now, I am not going to tell you to "step out of your comfort zone" because frankly, I think that phrase has been overused so much that it has completely lost its impact. 

Instead, let's beef up the fight in our fight or flight response and lean in to the fear. Put up your dukes and don't back down from the reflections in those quiet moments. 

We all have things, situations, parts of our lives that we tolerate. Things that maybe don't fit any longer or that we've just not been brave enough or inconvenienced enough to really examine and change. 

Lean in, face the fear and sit in the quiet reflection of you. Dare to look at those things in your life that you silently wish were different. 

Dare to imagine your "After". 

I would love to hear your reflections in the comments if you're brave enough to share...

3 Secrets to Look Younger, Look and Feel your Best and Boost your Confidence

When we Look good, we Feel good and we Do good.

Like anything, of course, we can apply the good, better best multipliers, right? 

Women have an amazing capacity to undervalue ourselves. We place a huge number of limitations on ourselves, and the worst part is we don't even realize it. 

There have been a couple of amazing social experiments in the news recently.

The Dove forensic artist experiment that showed the difference between how people see themselves compared to how others see them. 

The Mrs magic mirror "you are enough" campaign. Where women were asked to rate how they felt about their appearance in what turned out to be an interactive mirror. 

As if we don't have enough self imposed issues, the inevitable effects of time and age start to show and thanks to the media, we feel even smaller and less significant and less worthy the older we get.

And while I hope that these movements continue, and women begin to develop a stronger sense of self worth, I know that even though we know it's wrong, we fall back into those self limiting beliefs easily and quickly.

So what can you do? 

1. Find one simple practice that makes you feel good, make it a habit and turn it into a ritual. This can be something small, but it must be something that you do in gratitude to yourself. Meditation, a cup of tea, read your favorite quote, listen to your favorite song. Daily affirm that you are, in fact enough.

2. Take great care of yourself, the best thing you can do to improve how you look and how you feel is drink water. Plenty of it. Every day. It flushes toxins, it hydrates all of you, and brings back health to your entire body including the biggest organ in your body, your skin. 

3. Invest in a skin care regimen that you love that works for you. Everyone has different skin with different issues and different priorities. Find something that works for you and stick to it. Every day! 

When we feel good, we look good, and we can do more good! 


How would you like to look 10 years younger in 15 minutes without laser or cosmetic surgery, without air brushing or photo-shopping, without makeup contouring tricks? Click here to see for yourself.