Stop looking for balance

I just completed the book "Think and Grow Rich for Women" and the final chapter really struck me. 
Sharon Lechter talked about balance in a way I've never thought of before and surely has changed the way I'll ever think of it again.

She quotes the Merriam Webster's dictionary definition of balance as 

the ability to move or to remain in a position without losing control or falling

She also notes that as women we never stop moving, so why would we strive to achieve something that is defined as just that. 

I took it to another thought and correlated it to the statement I've most heard quoted by Anthony Robbins which is 

If you're not growing, you're dying.

Sharon went on to assert that what we should be seeking is presence. Rather than feeling guilty for not doing something else in this moment, seek and choose to be fully present doing what you are doing in any given moment. 

I love this philosophy. I feel thankful that I'm already practicing this in many ways, of course I can improve in this area, as most of us can in most areas of our lives.

This brings to mind for me so many people I see these days with their smart phones out at the dinner table, or at a business meeting. Don't get me wrong, I understand that you may be taking notes, or using social media to share and or promote the cool experience you are having. I've been to meetings and conferences where they ask you to tweet the hash tag, etc. 

I challenge you to ditch the search for balance and embrace the choice to be fully present.

When you are with your family, don't worry about the business or household tasks that need to be completed, BE with your family. When you are focused on the work you need to complete for your business, don't feel guilty that you are not spending time with your family. 

Certainly, do your best to arrange your schedule so that you can make the optimal use of your time, and serve your highest values.

  

 

Ever notice that how you do anything is how you do everything?

I find so often that running is a metaphor for my life. I was out on my first 6 mile run of the season today and noticed 3 pretty big points that directly correlate to my business. 

I'm behind on my half marathon training compared to where I feel I should be based on the date of my race and my past experience. 

Of course, I still ran the run that was on the schedule for today. With little consideration to whether i was ready or not. So I ran my first 6 mile of the season 2 days after my first 5 mile of the season. As a seasoned runner, I know that could possibly be a recipe for disaster, but I'm more focused on the goal and the outcome than the process and the journey. Have to hit that finish line! 

Thankfully I stopped myself from trying to do an 8 mile run the following day. I have some sane moments after all.

I do this in my business, in my house work, I beat myself up for not doing this long laundry list of things I've set up for myself because I'm so focused on the result and I want the result NOW. As a result, I don't do all the things, and then feel bad because I'm "behind".

How friggin silly!!!!!!!

I'm binary. My husband makes fun of me all the time that I have a binary bladder. I don't have to go to the bathroom, and then I have to go right NOW!

I noticed that about my running today. I'd be running (jogging) and I'd run until I was near my aerobic threshold, then I would stop (walk) until I caught my breath and rinse and repeat. Even after I noticed this, and took note that if I could just throttle my speed I could sustain it for so much longer. I'll be going along and my pace app will announce current pace 8 minutes 30 seconds per mile, split pace 11 minutes 48 seconds per mile. What the heck am I doing running at an 8:30 pace? That's a much faster pace than I can sustain, so I hold it until I can't hold it any longer than walk 10 paces or so then repeat. If I could hold a 9:30 or 9:45 pace, I could sustain it for a long period of time. 

This is true in many areas of my life. I have 2 speeds, stop and go. I get moving on something and push until I can't sustain the pace any longer, then I come to a complete stand still. I need to learn to move at a sustainable pace. Throttle my efforts and push through a mild level of discomfort rather than "take a break" as soon as I feel fatigue setting in.

Today I went on one of my first runs of the season without the dogs. When I run with the dogs, they need to stop to go to the bathroom, they stop at all cross streets, and are sometimes distracted by this or that causing us to stop for a moment or two. I've gotten used to that. 

Running alone today, I did my first sustained effort of 3 miles. It was tough, reminded me that I need to build up my stamina considerably before my 13.1 race mid July.

I let others set the pace. I enjoy pacing with others, but I allow it to hold me back. I can see where I sometimes do this in other areas of my life. It is easy and comfortable to stay at the speed and pace that someone is doing so I don't have to push myself, stretch myself. It also reminds me that I need to step up and into my role as a leader more fully in some areas of my life and inspire others to step up to MY pace.

How about you? Do you see any of these weird habits showing up in your life? 

1. The "I'm behind I need to catch up" mentality
2. Two speeds, stop and full speed and nothing in between
3. Letting others set a "comfortable" pace below your own capabilities 

Time to turn off auto pilot

When you read a lot of self help and personal development and inspirational material, especially as an entrepreneur, you see and hear a lot of reference to "the treadmill" or the hamster ball, there are other colloquialisms as well - mostly pointed at corporate America, or the average person's life. 

All of these refer to the idea of exerting a lot of effort (running) but never actually moving forward. 

I've seen this all around me in not only my corporate life, but also as I watched my friends and family in serious relationships.

So many people just keep moving on to the "next logical step" because they are on a track like a railroad train. Even though they are not going where they want, it's just easier to keep moving on the path that is clear. I'm sure you can think of countless examples of people in positions, some maybe even high level management positions who get there and turn around and ask "How did I get here?"

I've seen it happen to people in my life in serious relationships as well. My sister as well as a dear girlfriend both ended up in a position where they ended up calling off a wedding mid planning. 

That is an extremely tough thing to do. Looking at all of the planning and the time and the money invested into the wedding, it's easier to just go along with it and not disappoint anyone. Not have to answer questions. But how much more expensive in dollars and emotional breakdowns is it to get divorced? 

I talked with my girlfriend about it at length and she related to me that they found themselves looking at one another and asking "How did we get here?". They were dating long enough that it "just seemed like it was time to get engaged". Thankfully, they had the wherewith-all to realize in time that they were really just super great friends and it was easier to keep dating than to not. 

How many people do you know that don't like their job, maybe even hate it, but aren't looking for an alternative because "it's good enough", "it pays the bills" and it's easier to do nothing.

Life's not meant to be that way. I'm not saying life is easy, or that it's supposed to be easy. But it's supposed to be happy. 

It's supposed to light you up. 

It's supposed to excite you. 

Not 10 years from now, not when you retire, not tomorrow, but today and every day.

That's what life is meant to be. 

Is it time for you to turn off the auto pilot on your life and take the controls?   

What's your story?

Ever have that feeling hours, or the day after a really great workout when you're sore but it feels really great? Not in a masochistic way, but that sore that lets you know you did an awesome job! 

I'm finding that you can get that feeling from some really great inner workouts too! 
I spent last weekend at the Millionaire Mind Intensive Experience and it was awesome! But I've definitely got some sore muscles. 

It's funny how parallels show up in your life and, in my case, sometimes allow you to do work in overlapping areas simultaneously. Working with my coach, I am starting to dig through my story. What is my story and how does it relate to my next step? What parts of my story serve me and what parts of my story have helped to carve those amazing gifts into me? What parts of my story are ready to be let go? 

Then I went to this weekend experience and in order to change my mindset around money, I needed to get in touch with my story and find out what parts are no longer serving me and let them go. It was revelationary and really intense and kind of cathartic. 

I've definitely got more work to do but it's kind of cool to see the patterns in my story and the links between stories that I previously viewed as very compartmentalized and to just let go of some stories that simply don't serve me or anyone else any longer. 

How about you? What is your story? Are you ready to let go of your old story right now and start a new story? Are you ready to share your story so you can use it to make more if an impact in the world by helping women follow or steer clear of the path you have taken?   

Baby Steps with Lead Shoes

Life is truly amazing. When you declare what you want in that certain way, when you set a goal or create an affirmation and it is so visceral that you feel a tightness in your chest when you think about it, you know something is different. You know, I knew, something big is coming. 

Those of you who have been following along lately have heard me blame my amazing Coach Christine Suva for my most recent big amazing project. 

It's amazing how when you start building momentum how fast things shift. It was less than 2 months ago that the idea for my first full day event, Whole Self Nourish came out of our first official coaching call. I was scared sick over how or if I would be able to pull it off. Even the day of the event, heck even two days after the event, I was still nervous. 

And yet, here I am today, joyfully, confidently working on the second Whole Self Nourish Day on July 25th. I already have speakers and partners registered and on board and I should have my location secured within the week. Partners I was even a little nervous about approaching were totally psyched to get on board and be a part of the event. One partner went so far as to say 

Im in! Not sure what's going on but whatever you're doing i wanna be a part of it. :-)

Of course, something even bigger was pushing its way into my life. I keep telling Christine, my coach, I'm starting to get really terrified as what my life is going to look like after 6 months of us working together because in just the first month two really huge things already started moving, and moving with purpose. 

So, I'm stepping into the next big amazing project. It requires some self discovery, a little skill and story inventory, and trying to re-connect with that "little braggart self" I talked about last week. A few weeks back, I experienced an amazing presentation from Wendy Lipton Dibner. The replay is up for just a few more days, I would highly recommend investing 90 minutes of your time. You won't regret it! The second assignment is to help you discover your unique gift to the world, the thing that you probably take for granted because it comes easily to you. The message is becoming clearer and clearer that this new direction is where I'm going right now, whether I feel ready or not.

So I'm stepping into it. I'm taking definitive daily action. I'm spending lots of daily time on introspection and trying to change that inner conversation from "Who do you think you are?" to "You've totally got this!". Thank you, by the way to all of you who contributed to my homework assignment with your spectacular words of support. And thank you to my personal cheer-leading squad who spurred this next evolution, you guys totally rock my socks off! 

But I'm taking small definitive daily action. One baby step after another, and I feel like I'm wearing lead shoes! Man what a workout! My quads and glutes are going to look amazing!   

I'm not ready to spill the beans quite yet but you know coming from me it will be FUN, so stay tuned! 

Mirror Mirror

I heard a great statement at a presentation last week

You can't read the label from inside the jar.

What a succinct way to say it. It's amazing to me how we can see things so clearly except when it comes to our own reflection.

Many of you are experts in human behavior or insights in one way or another, and yet, when it comes to shining that light on yourself, you can't read your own label. 

It's too bad that we all grow out of our "little braggart self". 

One of my all time favorite blog posts is about Amelia.

I had several intense experiences last week that are propelling me into my NEXT BIG THING because this journey I'm on seems to have a life of its own.

As I turn my vision to myself and start to claim and step into those unique gifts that are mine to bless the world with, I find myself in that inner struggle between YES I AM AWESOME and I'm not worthy or I'm not enough.

Definitely as I step out onto a bigger playing field and use more of my own voice rather than lending my voice to the backing vocals of another lead, I feel that struggle even more. 

I am SO thankful for my amazing people who support me, and my AMAZING ROCK STAR coach who manages to uplift me in such an uncanny way.

I'm learning to see that one of those unique gifts of mine is that very ability to see that in others. It's tough for me to see because if you asked me, I'd just underplay it and say I just pay attention to information that is there for everyone to see. 

I'm starting to realize that I may see things differently that others do. When I say things, I mean people, situations, business models, plans, strategies, etc. Most impactfully, I think, I see people through a lens of genuine love and support. To me, it just seems like how things are, but I'm learning that it isn't how things are for everyone. 

I look at you and see Amelia with all her quirky brilliance and unbridled potential, what do you see?  What inner voices to you hear as you step into the next steps on your journey?  

It's great when it works

A phrase I've been known to use often is "Technology. It's great when it works!" This past week has been an extreme version of that in my life. Many years ago, I found an amazing vision correction technology called Orthokeratology or Ortho K. I wear hard contact lenses at night when I sleep and it reshapes my cornea. The result is similar to laser surgery without the laser. 

As I hit the middle of my 40s my vision has begun to change, and like all busy people I haven't made regular time to go to the eye doctor like I should, so only when my lenses aren't fitting properly or delivering the result I need to I make an appointment. 

Not surprisingly, my near vision is starting to diminish and my eyes have been naturally compensating for that, which is a good thing, but my old lenses weren't cooperating. As a result, I had been wearing my lenses during the day and causes some dryness in my cornea as well as a "dent" where the lenses were sitting slightly off position in my eye. 

SO I was ordered by my doctor to not wear my lenses for a few days. Under normal circumstances if I were to wear my lenses for a very short time (like only get a couple hours of sleep) my vision is slightly worse. I expected to have a gradual diminish in my vision. WRONG. I awoke on Tuesday with very near to my natural vision and very close if not completely natural vision on Wednesday. 

My vision is something like 20/400 or some ridiculous number. I can see the 1 large E about 1 foot from the screen in the office. So, I have spent the greater part of a week "in the dark" so to speak. I could see about 2-3 inches from my face, and not completely clearly at that.

Like most things in the age of technology, you don't realize how much you rely on your vision for EVERYTHING. I couldn't read a book, I could listen to the TV but not watch it. I could sort of get emails on my phone but trying to read or look at the computer for any length of time was exhausting. 

Of course, I haven't been able to drive, so I've been dependent on my husband to take me places, and I hate to ask so have been not running errands that need to be run, etc. 

Disorienting, frustrating, all in all not a lot of fun. I did play with the dogs a lot, which, of course, they enjoyed. We had a nice dinner out at an Italian restaurant with low lighting and I felt like I was able to appreciate the mood more than most not seeing outside our booth LOL.

I took some time for introspection and visualization, but these are things that are not easy for me, so it was a struggle.

Today, my vision is probably 75% and I am overjoyed. 

Definitely an experience of making me very thankful for the things we often take for granted!