Wednesday, January 21, 2015

How are your 40s treating you so far?

When you were a little girl, and you looked at your mom, didn't you think she had all the answers? That she had it all figured out? 

As you went into college, didn't you just assume that when you hit 40, life would kind of be all buttoned up? When I look back at my Mom in her 40s her life was on total auto pilot, or at least that's how it seemed to me.

So how is it, that almost every 40 something woman I know is going through or has gone through an enormous life transition? 

Kids move out, or family just getting started. 
Laid off or just decided you've had enough of the grind and want to do something you're passionate about.
Found the love of your life, or gone through a separation or divorce.
Experienced the loss of your parents or significant family member.

Sometimes all of the above.

In the past few years, I've been laid off, failed as an entrepreneur, had to go back to a corporate job, still kept plugging away at my entrepreneurial venture part time, started 2 new entrepreneurial ventures, completely re-branded, lost both my maternal grandparents, my only maternal uncle and my paternal grandmother, and my parents moved across the country. 

If you are anything like me, you have found that your 40's are not the kick back and take it easy time of your life that you imagined them to be as a young girl.

You've grown up, you've wised up and you've decided you're not going to live with the status quo any longer. 

And you're doing something about it.

Chances are, you're also experiencing a bit of resistance from those who know and love you the most. Maybe they don't get what "all the fuss is about". Maybe they don't understand why average just isn't good enough for you any more. Maybe they think you need to "serve your time" until you "get to retire", because that is what they see as the goal. 

I suggest you thank them for their opinion and let them know you respect their option to feel that way asking that they return the favor, respecting your option to feel the way you do. Let them know you're not asking them to even support you, just not actively dissuade you, and offer not to share about it unless they ask. (It's likely they'll ask, especially when you start rockin' it out!)

Times are different than they were 20 or 30 years ago when our moms were in their 40's. The world is a much smaller, more accessible place. We see our options and our possibilities in ways that our moms didn't. 

Many of us, decided that we wanted something different, something more, something better. Something that makes us feel full of passion. Something that gives us a sense of purpose. Something that gives us security. Something that makes us feel like we are making a difference, making an impact, making the world a better place even if that's just for the people we touch.

Know that you are not alone. Know that there are plenty of us going through the same things you are, or who already have. We are here, willing to support, champion, mentor and stand shoulder to shoulder with you.

Let's Connect! 


  1. I'm a 75 year young woman who remembers having these thoughts you beautifully expressed. The world is differenttoday and we can reach out and grab the direction, the support, the info we want and need. But the desire and passion must come from within. I was fortunate that I had a career I loved and made a difference for others and not am doing something challenging and exciting. Very inspiring.

    1. Thank you for your kind words. I love that you're 75 years young and I'm so glad to hear you shared the same thoughts. I love that you're doing something challenging and exciting!

  2. A wise and lovely post, that points out that we can and do make a difference. I loved this inspiration this morning!

  3. It's interesting to read your experience of being in your 40's, as for me, most of the same things you are experiencing and question continue into our 50's and 60's and if we're fortunate like my almost 99-year-old mother, life gets richer and more complicated and we just keep choosing and experiencing as we go along. The focus and the energy expended may shift, however, the passion and the zest for living fully and richly, continues on and on.

  4. I am 59 and yes, by 40 I had experienced heartbreak and loss. Little did I know it was about to get worse. I spent most of my 40's in an emotionally and physically abusive hell. The rest of them was healing and fighting PTSD. Fortunately my faith got me through the dark and the light. With freedom I was able to reclaim my spirit (which had been taken from me) and live without fear. My creativity came to me as if a reward. I went to school at 50 and am now content and happy.
    But... I know life is still going to happen. Heartaches and joys, loss and gain still come. But I am stronger to face them.
    You write well. You have a grasp on the fact that everyone' stories are different... yet we are in this together.

  5. My 40s are amazing and I think I'm reiterating what others have said before, it's getting better and better with every year.

    I love the world we live in, so many possibilities, so many connections you can make. How awesome of you to reach out, Shannon!