Here in the midwest, we're pretty solidly into fall. Meaning the temps are getting lower, the colors of the leaves are mostly changed and the leaves themselves are starting to fall.
This is my favorite time of year, as I am a fan of the cooler temps, although we've had more rain than I like. This past week, I really noticed what a difference the sun makes. On back to back days, the temp was the same - between 60 and 65.
The first day, I was perfectly comfortable in a t-shirt, and even a little warm in jeans.
The second day, I was down right chilly in a sweatshirt.
What was the difference? The sun!
The first day was a clear sunny day and the second was overcast.
For whatever reason, I really took notice of this.
I will never advocate a false attitude appearance, and don't want you to feel like I'm suggesting a Pollyanna perspective, but think about how this applies to so many areas of your life.
Where can you bring more sunshine? The same circumstance can appear, sound, feel and even taste different in the bright yummy warm light of the sun.
Those of you that know me "in real life" know that I am genuinely a happy, positive person. A lot of people who know me add a lot of superlatives to that description.
This isn't fake, it isn't forced, it isn't an act, it is genuinely who and how I am.
Most of the time
But sometimes, just sometimes, I'm not amazing, spectacular, outstanding or fabulous. And the rub is that I honestly feel like that's not OK.
Like many of us, this leads me down the path of not listening to my own advice. I can clearly hear my own voice talking to friends, family and colleagues and telling them that sometimes they owe it to themselves to feel how they feel for the moment (just don't wallow there). Also like many of us, I feel intense pressure and responsibility to not allow myself to do just this.
Years ago, early in my employment with ADP, there was a guy in my department, a really toxic guy. They sat him right next to me. After some time, I realized this guy was having a negative impact on me, my attitude, etc. I went to my supervisor and explained this, and that I really enjoyed my job, and didn't want that to change and could they please move one of us. My supervisor actually said to me, "You are the most up beat positive person on the team, imagine how he would impact anyone else. I can't move you away from him."
We all fall into roles. Roles where we not only feel obligated, but feel responsible for others around us.
I've fallen into a role where I lift up those around me. It's a GREAT role. I love it, most of the time, I do it without even thinking about it, without giving it any effort or energy, it simply is how I am.
But sometimes, just sometimes, I feel like being a little selfish. I feel like feeling crappy. And I kind of feel like I'm not allowed. Don't misunderstand me. This is completely, 100% self-imposed. This is nothing that anyone around me would ever say or even think.
I share it with you today because I think I'm not alone. It may not be this exact situation for you, but I think we all fall into roles where we tell ourselves that it's more important for us to do x for this person or that person that it is to do what we know we need to do for ourselves.
And the truth of it all is that is what is not OK.
It's not selfish to honor yourself.
We've all heard the saying "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."
Life has its own agenda, and it doesn't make reservations. You don't often get a heads up for the little hiccups that get thrown in on your journey.
As with everything, your perspective makes all the difference. Stuff comes up that you have to deal with whether you are ready or not.
Years ago, my husband and I coined our own little phrase, on an adventure, for when we got lost. We'd say, we're not lost, we're on an adventure! Accordingly, we'd thoroughly enjoy our unplanned exploration.
This past week, we found ourselves on a new adventure. After getting some water in our basement, in my office of course, during the flash flood rains, we noted a distinct musty odor. We set out to remove a small portion of the carpet in my office, quickly realizing that we needed to pull all of the carpet out of the office.
--- Our house was built in the 60's and the previous owner fancied himself somewhat of a handyman. Unfortunately he took lots of short cuts and we always find shoddy workmanship when we take stuff apart.
Next we find we need to take down the paneling and then, to our dismay, find we need to take out an entire wall between my office and our bar. Demolition of the entire room was not on the plan or in our time or money budget.
But life doesn't make reservations.
My computer has been offline since Saturday and we're working on some temporary work conditions as this weekend project won't be quite finished in the time we originally planned.
Your perspective makes all the difference...
As I sit with a glass of wine, stressing about the much bigger project than we had planned, my amazing husband says. "Man, this is going to be awesome! I'm so excited about actually having your office done right! It will be so much lighter in there with dry wall and you won't have any more Brady Bunch paneling!"
It's going to happen. Life is going to throw stuff at you. Challenging stuff. Scary stuff. You don't get to plan for it. You don't get to budget time, effort, energy or money for lots of little surprises.
But you do get to choose your perspective.
