Friday, December 19, 2014

A Season of Believing

For many people this is a magical time of year. A time for believing in miracles, seeing the best in people and being the kindest, warmest, most generous versions of ourselves. 

I love the songs that talk about the ability to be better selves than we normally are and the dream to keep that better self when the season ends. 



If our kindness
This day is just pretending
If we pretend long enough
Never giving up
It just might be who we are 

So tell me Christmas, are we kind
More this day than any other day
Or is it only, in our minds?
And must it leave when you have gone away?

Do you see better in yourself or others this time of year? Are you more thoughtful, more generous, more loving? 

Is your heart just a little more open? Do you consider dreams and possibilities you wouldn't the rest of the year? 

Before the season of wishes and dreams comes to an end, 
before we take a look back and reflect how things have gone or are going, set goals and resolutions and look forward to a brighter 2015 than 2014 was in some way.
For just a minute, surrender to a childhood version of yourself.


Without censoring yourself, or thinking about resources or reality or how far it is from here to there, what would you wish for in 2015? 


What would you dream? If there were no obstacles, no barriers, and absolutely ANYTHING was possible, what would you want? 

Be BOLD!




Friday, December 12, 2014

Thought Pirates

Have you ever suffered an attack by a thought pirate? 

You're going about your day, possibly even really concentrating on a task at hand, or a plan for a project. 

The Thought Pirate comes from out of nowhere! 

A completely random, possibly destructive thought not only enters your mind, but completely derails your mental course, driving you into uncharted waters, even a maelstrom.

I think we've all been victims of the Thought Pirates! 

The Thought Pirates come in several varieties: 

The Joker 

This pirate has no malevolent intent, simply to entertain. These Pirates attack with things like a random Michael Jackson song or an image you saw last week on Facebook of a baby opossum. The fastest way to defeat this Pirate variety is simply to acknowledge the entertainment value of the attack, take the momentary pause and then return to your previous course. 

The Distractor

This pirate has little malevolent intent, however a strong intent to divert your attention. These Pirates most often attack when you feel a slight urge to procrastinate from an unpleasant or tedious task. They may even use a stealthy attack method which seems like another, less unpleasant or tedious task such as a grocery or errand list.  The fastest way to defeat this Pirate variety is to recognize the intent and grab a notebook; jot down the errant thought and commit to return to it only when your current task is complete. 

The Disarmer

This is the most deadly Pirate and has completely malevolent intent. These Pirates attack with your worst fears and doubts. Much like Hollywood uses cgi to make a paper airplane look like a fully armed spaceship, these Pirates use trick lighting and special effects to make your fears and doubts seem real and worse, relevant to the task you are working to complete. Preparation is the best way to defeat these nasty Pirates. When you are setting out on a task that pushes you or is going to take you into difficult territory, arm your mental ship and staff some lookouts. Positive thoughts are great armor remind yourself what you are working to achieve and exactly how you will benefit, especially the feelings you will have as a result of achieving it. Give your lookout brief affirming statements as the call to arms. When these Pirates attack, repeat the short statements at the first sight, before they get into range to grapple your ship.


You can defeat the Thought Pirates!          

Monday, December 8, 2014

What does "Self-Care" mean to you?

Self-Care
We hear this term a lot. As women entrepreneurs and professionals, we have a pretty good idea of what this is supposed to be, right? But does it have a positive or a negative connotation to you?

I bet, for most of us, it's more negative than positive.

But why? And should it be that way? 

What exactly is negative about taking care of ourselves, so that we can be our best, to do all that we do for those around us. Whether that be friends, family, business associates, customers, or the world.





I love the analogy of the oxygen mask on the airplane. Put your own mask on first, before helping others. You can't be of use to those you care most about, if you are compromised.






But this term can mean any of at least a hundred things, if not more. I generally consider myself pretty good at this practice. I manage my stress levels pretty well, I take time to relax and do things that make me feel refreshed and ready to take on the world again.

But there are always things we can do better, right? 


When we think of "adding self-care to our routine" we often feel very overwhelmed. We feel like this is going to be one more item on our to-do list that isn't "necessary" or "high priority" and we portion that time for other things. 

I believe, that self-care is very necessary and very high priority. It is truly a way we need to nourish ourselves. We simply cannot do all of the things we want to do, need to do, are meant to do if we are not at our best.





And, I think that "adding self-care to our routine" is much like eating an elephant. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.






So, start with making a list. What are things that constitute self-care to you? My definition: things that make you feel refreshed, refilled, renewed and ready to take on the world again. 

Possibilities: 

  • massage
  • manicure/pedicure
  • facial
  • bath
  • enjoying your favorite beverage on your deck or patio
  • exercise
  • clean eating
  • chat with your best girlfriend
  • a guilty pleasure movie or TV show possibly with popcorn
  • a glass of wine, possibly with your best girlfriend or a special someone
  • a great dessert or piece of amazing chocolate
  • walk outdoors
  • sauna
  • steam
  • makeover
  • retail therapy - a new great outfit or pair of shoes
  • time off - vacation or stay-cation
  • read a book
  • listen to music
  • sing out loud
  • dance to your favorite song
The list could go on and on and on. My best strategy for eating that elephant is pick 3, but no more than 5 things that make you feel refreshed, refilled, renewed and ready to take on the world again. 

1 "big" thing, something you aren't going to do every day or every week, but that would be a special treat and schedule that into your calendar no less than once per quarter (3 months) or as much as say once per month. (like a massage, pedicure, facial or vacation)

1 or 2 "medium or small" things, something you can do at least once a month, or as much as once a week. For me one of my top ones is lighting several candles in my family room and watching one of my favorite TV shows with the lights off and candles lit. 

1 or 2 "tiny" things, something you can do at least 3 times as week or as much as every day. Get a really great body lotion you can put on after every shower, pull out that skin care routine, and figure out how to do all of the steps, and DO THEM at least 3 times a week. 


If you try to schedule them all at once, you may feel overwhelmed again. So, once you have your list of 3, add 1 item per week to your schedule for the upcoming 3 month period. If you start with the "big" thing, and work your way to the "tiny" things, they will be much easier to "digest".

I would love to hear your lists. Share in the comments what your 3 items are and if you already have any of them scheduled on your calendar. 

Friday, December 5, 2014

Serenity, Control, Focus and Choices


Serenity.

Most of us have heard these words in some form or another. Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. 

This motto has served me well now for many years, nearly 20 in fact, but very recently I had a significant struggle that was deeply affecting me. 

In my family, and among most people I know I am the joyful one, the positive one, the one that lets things go. But recently at my 9-5, my office (not the position or the company, just the physical location) closed and we have been relocated to a new location. The result of this is that my commute 2-3 days a week when I work in the office, increased from 15-20 minutes to 75-90 minutes. Each way. 

I have spent a lot of time being cranky and crabby and even drained and mentally exhausted over the past 2 weeks. Now, I grant you 2 weeks is not a lot of time, but for a person who is generally positive and joyful it has felt like a lifetime. 

Just yesterday, I was reciting this poem/prayer in my mind and berating the thoughts that this drive time, the traffic and the rude other drivers are all things I can't control, and I spent my energy trying to convince myself that I needed to find a way to accept them. 

Thankfully, I am a student of personal development. This morning, I grabbed one of my Anthony Robbins audio courses that I have completed before, but knew his energy and his words would be positive food for my mind during the 90 minute drive time. 

I was right. using that time to MY advantage, I regained control. 

THAT is the thing that was making me angry. I don't discount significance of the loss of 3 hours in my day, and the motivation that gives me to grow my entrepreneurial efforts so that I can retire from my 9-5 permanently. But my focus was going to the wrong place because of the loss of control. 

Whether you are a typical OCD type, or you have anyone in your life who has ever mentioned that you have control issues or are a control freak, we ALL have control issues. When we feel that someone or something outside of ourselves has taken control of us in some way, we fight it. We get angry. We get resentful. Most dangerously, we often become complacent. 

There are things in all of our lives that we cannot control. That is very true. What I noticed this week is that we still have choices. 

Even in a situation that is not of your making, even in the worst possible circumstance, you can choose what you focus on. 

And THAT will make all the difference! 



Today, rather than lamenting the control that has been taken from me, I focus on the choices I still have. I control my thoughts, I control my attitude, I control my influence. 

What choices would or could you make differently if you shifted your focus? 

Monday, December 1, 2014

Reflections

Why is it, as women, that we are so uncomfortable with our reflection? I remember, whenever I encountered one of those horrible lighted magnifying makeup mirrors, even when I was younger and cuter, I reacted with an AH like I'd been spooked and a thought that I didn't need to see myself quite THAT close up. 



Who doesn't love to see those before and after photos where someone has gone through an amazing transformation?


We see those and find hope, inspiration and strength.


There is so much power and triumph in those before and after photos, yet we resist really looking at that "before" in the mirror.



Much more difficult to look at than our physical reflections is our internal reflections. I had a spectacular speaker at one of my events last year, Dr. Shannon Burke, and she spoke eloquently about how difficult we women find it to stay quiet and still, even though our most brilliant inspiration often comes from these very moments.




Every one of those amazing before and after photos exist because at some point, she made a decision to change that before. To stop being that before. But we can't make a decision to stop being the before if we refuse to look at it.





Now, I am not going to tell you to "step out of your comfort zone" because frankly, I think that phrase has been overused so much that it has completely lost its impact. 

Instead, let's beef up the fight in our fight or flight response and lean in to the fear. Put up your dukes and don't back down from the reflections in those quiet moments. 

We all have things, situations, parts of our lives that we tolerate. Things that maybe don't fit any longer or that we've just not been brave enough or inconvenienced enough to really examine and change. 

Lean in, face the fear and sit in the quiet reflection of you. Dare to look at those things in your life that you silently wish were different. 

Dare to imagine your "After". 




I would love to hear your reflections in the comments if you're brave enough to share...

Monday, November 24, 2014

Routine

The holidays are a time of year when we all can feel overwhelmed, and overextended. There are holiday gatherings, holiday travel (whether you are traveling or your family is visiting you), shopping, holiday services in your local community, and children's school holiday programs, and then the kids are out of school for a week or two or three. 

As always, none of the day to day items fall off of your list. 

So how do you manage when you are out of your routine? 

We take comfort in our routine, don't we? Things happen on schedule, and we can plan "wiggle room" for unexpected things to come up.

So how can you make chaos routine? 


Well for starters, we all sort of have, haven't we? I mean we are far from the days of Leave it to Beaver and Happy Days. The world  moves at a pace faster than ever before and there is no chance of it slowing down any time soon.

So, the holidays are a time to plan for a lot more "wiggle" and a lot less schedule. So, plan for it. Schedule less into your day so that when whose opportunities arise, you have planned for the space to take advantage of them.

Another winning strategy is the buddy system. You remember the buddy system from when you were in school, right? Well this is a little bit different application, but it works basically the same way. 

Say you have to bake cookies for a school event, a cookie exchange, or a family event. I bet at least 1 of your girlfriends, if not more, also has to bake cookies for something at this time of year. So... buddy up! You can get the task done faster, and you'll have more fun. 

How about gift wrapping, or shopping, or ...

I think you catch my drift.   

Monday, November 17, 2014

Women Entrepreneurs are the World’s best Jugglers

How true is that?


  • What woman entrepreneur you know doesn't do at least 3 jobs?
  • Who makes it look effortless most of the time?
  • Who doesn't get thanked enough?
  • Who slowly and quietly gets more overwhelmed each day?
  • Who seldom complains about the load she bears?


And of all the hats we wear, we are nearly always supporting, doing or caring for someone else. 

So, when do you decide it's time to take care of you? And if you ever make this difficult and guilt inspiring decision, who is it that does take care of you?

Run down the list of hats you wear in a typical day, or week, or month, and consider how those who are paid as professionals in each field demand to be treated and served. 

Chefs have dishwashers, most professions have secretaries, or assistants, some professions have entire staff to tend to things that are outside their expertise.

And you, a busy woman entrepreneur, do all of these, only get paid for one maybe two of them and insist that your needs can wait.

and wait...

and wait...

and wait...

But what happens when they can't wait any longer? What happens when you finally hit that tipping point? What happens when you burn out mentally, emotionally or physically?

People in your life will step up and pitch in and they will care for you. And then you'll feel even more guilty.

So what if you decided that taking care of you, self-care, that thing that you know you're supposed to do, but just never manage to get around to, was important. What if you decided that it was a priority? 

What if you could come up with a way to do that on a regular basis and not feel guilty?

Impossible?

Maybe not.

There are a thousand little things you can do in a day to lower your stress level and take a little bit of self-care without neglecting your loved ones, your business or your ever growing to-do list.

Here are a few to inspire you to do a little self-care today...
  • Give yourself a mini facial - grab one of those sets of beauty products you bought but never took the time to use and do all the steps. Enjoy the glow and great feeling skin.
  • Listen to your favorite song. Turn the volume up loud. Before you pick up the kids, sing all the lyrics at the top of your lungs and chair dance if you want to.
  • Call your best girlfriend and share a funny memory.
  • Do a random act of kindness for someone who cannot return the favor, buy a cup of coffee for the person behind you in line; pay a parking meter; give a McDonalds or Subway gift card to a homeless person.
  • Send yourself a note or card - in the mail.
There are so many people in your life that you want to serve. You are a woman entrepreneur, you want to get out there in the world in a bigger way, share your mission; spread your message; help more people. Don’t all of those people deserve the very best you have to give?
Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish or self-indulgent. Taking care of yourself is the most important thing you can do to be of service to those you are put here to serve.
Shannon Bednowicz

Click the comment box below and share what self-care practice you are going to implement today!

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Is your heart open?




Does the front door of your business open to, or better yet, through your heart?


What kind of customers do you want?




Do you ever find yourself dealing with rude or annoying customers, but decide you'd rather "deal with it" because they are paying you money?









Do you envision yourself serving your customers?






Do you see yourself truly touching their heart with yours?

Do you see the product or service you offer honestly improving their life in some way?

They say love is when you care more about the other person's happiness than your own. 

I'm not saying that you can't or won't succeed if you don't put your customer first. Plenty of businesses do. 

I do believe that if you do put your customers first you will experience more success and more fulfilling success and you will attract customers that bring you joy as well as success.

What would it look like if you only attracted the customers that were a blast to work with? 

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

3 Secrets to Look Younger, Look and Feel your Best and Boost your Confidence

When we Look good, we Feel good and we Do good.

Like anything, of course, we can apply the good, better best multipliers, right? 

Women have an amazing capacity to undervalue ourselves. We place a huge number of limitations on ourselves, and the worst part is we don't even realize it. 

There have been a couple of amazing social experiments in the news recently.





The Dove forensic artist experiment that showed the difference between how people see themselves compared to how others see them. 












The Mrs magic mirror "you are enough" campaign. Where women were asked to rate how they felt about their appearance in what turned out to be an interactive mirror. 







As if we don't have enough self imposed issues, the inevitable effects of time and age start to show and thanks to the media, we feel even smaller and less significant and less worthy the older we get.

And while I hope that these movements continue, and women begin to develop a stronger sense of self worth, I know that even though we know it's wrong, we fall back into those self limiting beliefs easily and quickly.

So what can you do? 

1. Find one simple practice that makes you feel good, make it a habit and turn it into a ritual. This can be something small, but it must be something that you do in gratitude to yourself. Meditation, a cup of tea, read your favorite quote, listen to your favorite song. Daily affirm that you are, in fact enough.

2. Take great care of yourself, the best thing you can do to improve how you look and how you feel is drink water. Plenty of it. Every day. It flushes toxins, it hydrates all of you, and brings back health to your entire body including the biggest organ in your body, your skin. 

3. Invest in a skin care regimen that you love that works for you. Everyone has different skin with different issues and different priorities. Find something that works for you and stick to it. Every day! 

When we feel good, we look good, and we can do more good! 


How would you like to look 10 years younger in 15 minutes without laser or cosmetic surgery, without air brushing or photo-shopping, without makeup contouring tricks? Click here to see for yourself.




Thursday, November 6, 2014

Spoil me Silly

This week I write to you from sunny Phoenix. 
I love it when the stars align and things gel together. I have a convention in downtown Phoenix over the weekend, and my parents live in the Phoenix suburbs. I am able to combine a visit with business and through the power of the world wide interwebs, I can even extend my visit to a whole week and work from Phoenix for a couple of days.

Today, we went out for breakfast, did a little shopping, and got massages. 

As adults, we don't get the chance to get spoiled very often, so I'm enjoying my time with my parents and allowing myself to be treated. 

It's not about money or gifts, but just letting someone else take care of things for you when you are normally the care giver, the organizer, the orchestrator is a huge blessing. 

As women, we often have a hard time accepting, heck, most women can't even accept a compliment! 

I'm giving myself the gift of doing just that this week. And it feels GREAT! 

And check out my office! 
 

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Why did you do it?

Women business owners and entrepreneurs, why did you do it?


Why did you decide to start your own business? What was your inspiration? What did you hope to gain? What were you trying to get away from?

I think some women entrepreneurs started their business because they dreamed of a better life. 

More financial abundance, more time with their family, vacations, a nicer car and home, more security, more fun, more HAPPINESS.

But MOST women entrepreneurs started because... 

  • You wanted to make a bigger difference in the world. 
  • You have something to say and want to be heard.
  • You have a big vision about the person you want to be.
  • You have an image you want to put before your children as an example of the possibilities for future generations of women.
  • You were tired of the control of your well being and the security for your family being in belonging to someone else.
You were dissatisfied with something, your previous career, working for others, or a situation or problem in the world. AND you chose, you felt EMPOWERED in some way to change it. You took action. You took a risk.   

And YOU certainly want all those things
more financial abundance
more time with your family 
vacations 
a nicer car and home 
more security 
more fun 

more HAPPINESS
But they aren't your why, your motivation, or the thing that gets your juices flowing and your engine roaring.

Please, please share below what was your reason? Why did you do it? I'd love to hear your story and you never know who you're inspiring with your story. Don't forget to share a link to your blog or website so we know how to find you!

Saturday, November 1, 2014

3 Secrets to Grow your Business when you Connect

We crave connection. Real person to person connection. We get so bombarded each day with commercials and ads.
All expecting us to hand over our hard earned money without ever actually connecting with us. 
Women, especially, do business based on emotion, rather than logic. Touch her heart and she will practically throw money at you. OK, not literally, but pretty close. More importantly, she will want to support you and help you and can become a fantastic source for lead generation without you ever having to ask.
1. If someone has made an impact on you, personally or professionally, tell them! 
Last week, I felt compelled to drop a short note to my business coach who has profoundly impacted my life. I don't know why, but I'm glad I did. You don't know when what seems to you to be a tiny gesture could mean the world to the person standing next to you or waiting by the phone or sitting at their computer.This was her response:



We are all connected, we are all one community. When that tiny voice tugs at your heart, listen.
2. Be authentic! 

People can sense a phony. Know who you are and what you stand for, and don't compromise because you think your customer or partner will view you more favorably as a result. There are things about you that make you, YOU. Love those things! They make people remember you. Me? I love wine and shoes! People I've met at just a few networking events post to my facebook wall funny sayings about wine or great shoes all the time. That means they are thinking about me. Top of mind is GREAT for business. 

3. When you are making a person to person connection, CONNECT! 

One of the greatest compliments I ever received was from a friend that told me she never feels so truly heard as when she speaks with me.
Have you ever been talking to someone and you can see them looking over your shoulder? Have you ever found yourself formulating your response before that other person completes their thought? 
This includes when you are on social media. Complete your thought, your whole thought with the other person in mind, leaving your agenda at the door.
Remember, touch her heart and she will practically throw money at you.
Feed that craving with our supportive live and online networking community.

Friday, October 31, 2014

What does "Self-Care" mean to you?

Self-Care

We hear this term a lot. As women entrepreneurs and professionals, we have a pretty good idea of what this is supposed to be, right? 

Taking care of ourselves, so that we can be our best, to do all that we do for those around us. Whether that be friends, family, business associates, customers, or the world.







I love the analogy of the oxygen mask on the airplane. Put your own mask on first, before helping others. You can't be of use to those you care most about, if you are compromised.






But this term can mean any of at least a hundred things, if not more. I generally consider myself pretty good at this practice. I manage my stress levels pretty well, I take time to relax and do things that make me feel refreshed and ready to take on the world again.

But there are always things we can do better, right?

When we think of "adding self-care to our routine" we often feel very overwhelmed. We feel like this is going to be one more item on our to-do list that isn't "necessary" or "high priority" and we portion that time for other things. 

I believe, that self-care is very necessary and very high priority. Remember the oxygen mask analogy? We simply cannot do all of the things we want to do, need to do, are meant to do if we are not at our best.





And, I think that "adding self-care to our routine" is much like eating an elephant. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.






So, start with making a list. What are things that constitute self-care to you? My definition: things that make you feel refreshed, refilled, renewed and ready to take on the world again. 

Possibilities: 

  • massage
  • manicure/pedicure
  • facial
  • bath
  • enjoying your favorite beverage on your deck or patio
  • exercise
  • clean eating
  • chat with your best girlfriend
  • a guilty pleasure movie or TV show possibly with popcorn
  • a glass of wine, possibly with your best girlfriend or a special someone
  • a great dessert
  • walk outdoors
  • sauna
  • steam
  • makeover
  • retail therapy - a new great outfit or pair of shoes
  • time off - vacation or stay-cation
  • read a book
  • listen to music
  • sing out loud
  • dance to your favorite song
The list could go on and on and on. My best strategy for eating that elephant is pick no more than 5 things that make you feel refreshed, refilled, renewed and ready to take on the world again. 

At least 1 that is a "big" thing, something you aren't going to do every day or every week, but would be a special treat and schedule that into your calendar no less than once per quarter (3 months) or as much as say once per month. (like a massage, pedicure, facial or vacation)

1 or 2 "medium or small" things, something you can do at least once a month, or as much as once a week. For me one of my top ones is lighting several candles in my family room and watching one of my favorite TV shows with the lights off and candles lit. 

1 to 3 "tiny" things, something you can do at least 3 times as week or as much as every day. Get a really great body lotion you can put on after every shower, pull out that skin care routine, and figure out how to do all of the steps, and DO THEM at least 3 times a week. 


If you try to schedule them all at once, you may feel overwhelmed again. So, once you have your list of 5, add 1 item per week to your schedule for the upcoming 3 month period. If you start with the "big" thing, and work your way to the "tiny" things, they will be much easier to "digest".

I would love to hear your lists. Share in the comments what your 5 items are and if you already have any of them scheduled on your calendar. 

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Let's Get Naked

In the world of social media, interesting and uplifting things manage to hit my radar every so often. Last week, it was this great story, song and video by an artist, Colbie Caillat, who I would never have heard of as it's not the kind of music I typically listen to. 

You can read the story, and watch and listen to the video at the link behind the pic. 

It not only inspired me as a powerful message for our young women, and some of the older women I know too, but it really got me to thinking about some of those universal truths.

We have all known girls, had girlfriends, or even sometimes been those girls who were so desperate to be in a relationship that they tried to be something they were not. Not in an effort to be false, or to hide or be dishonest, but innocently enough, just trying to be what "that person" wanted, or what she or we thought "that person" wanted.

I think we all also know that in the end, that is not only unsuccessful for the obvious reasons, but it is also kind of unattractive. 

People know when you're not being your authentic self. Maybe they don't know they know it but they sense it. They sense your genuine self. One of those things I can look back and remember learning quite keenly as an Over 40 Female, is the process of learning to like myself. Really like myself. 

The other thing I learned is that it's pretty unreasonable to ask someone else to like you if you don't actually like yourself. 

And here's the universal truth part - this not only applies to romantic relationships, but also to family, friends and business. 

The more you really like that person in the mirror, and the more you really authentically show up as that person in the mirror, the more attractive you become, on every level. 

Don't get me wrong, you won't see me out too often with no makeup or my hair not done, but I am willing to put myself out there naked now. 

It even inspired me to put together a special event with Chicago Over 40 Females

When you're all alone by yourself do you like you?


Friday, June 20, 2014

I wasn't always this way...

Many of you have heard the story of how I became an "entrepreneur", but for those of you that havent...

My life changed when my husband was laid off in 2005 from a corporate job that had made him so depressed he was a completely different person.
We likened the layoff to when a loved one has been really sick for a long time, and they pass away. It's sad, but it's really a relief that the suffering is over.
We decided it was our last best opportunity for him to pursue his life long dream rather than go back to doing what he hated somewhere else.
We took a huge leap and walked away from a 70K+ income and invested another 70K+ in the additional training he needed.
We decided we didn't need to suffer any more.
My husband's happiness was more important than his income or our lifestyle. I didn't know how, but I knew I'd do anything to work it out.
So I started my business alongside my corporate position to supplement our income. I found in helping my husband make his dream come true, I not only found a dream I didn't even know I had, but I figured out that life is supposed to be good and happy.
Every day.

We learned that it is truly never too late to bring your dream to life. At 43 years of age, my husband got hired as a commercial airline pilot!



We learned that anything really is possible!

And we've figured out that life is about each day, making the most of who we are, where we are and most importantly who we are with.

It turns out it wasn't just me experiencing this - we all get so busy living life, that we forget to Live Life.

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Situationally Specific Confidence

As people, particularly people on a journey of personal development, we are growing and improving continually. As Tony Robbins, and many others have stated, if you're not growing, you're dying. 


I started my entrepreneurial journey in January 2006. As I grew my first business, my confidence grew. My personal confidence, my professional confidence, my confidence in my future self, my public speaking confidence, my training confidence. I found myself in one situation after another that was scary, but once I worked through it, became rewarding and even fun. 



But life isn't linear, and the road we are on is seldom straight. In that same business, I experienced challenges with my business growth and more impactfully, with leaders I had viewed as mentors and colleagues I had viewed as friends. Feeling like the unpopular girl in high school once again, I began my retreat. At first, it was so slow, I almost didn't notice. I certainly denied it was happening, to those around me and most importantly to myself. 

Here's the funny thing, at this same time, as my professional confidence was eroding, my athletic confidence was exploding. I ran my first marathon, then my second. I completed my first triathlon, at the Olympic distance. I entered the dirty and physically challenging world of mud and obstacle racing and advanced from the Warrior Dash to the Super Spartan race. 


I also built amazing friendships in a circle that I hold great passion, esteem and love for. A group of people that I respect and enjoy. I get to be one of the cool kids when I'm with them. I advanced to the "in crowd".


I observe, in hindsight as we often do, that I didn't lose my confidence, though I thought so at the time, rather I shifted it to another aspect of my life. We often view people from a distance that seem confidant in one way or another and we assume that they are fully, 100% confidant and competent in all aspects of their life. I wager they are not. How often have you heard an interview with a celebrity who shares something they are really bad at, something maybe even close to what they are known for. Like an athlete who is a terrible dancer, or a public speaker who can't sing in key. 

Working with an amazing coach, she saw my loss of professional confidence and the effect it was going to continue to have on my business and worked with me to take a huge leap in a totally new direction and start Chicago Over 40 Females. WOW has that been amazing. Over the past year my confidence has grown exponentially. I feel loved and respected and recognize those are very important things to me. 

And last fall, I took the leap to resign my leadership position with my direct sales company and shift into a new company. Totally new in every way. It has been amazing, uplifting, and successful. But, this week, I've observed another strange phenomenon in my confidence. I lack the confidence in my role and my connections in this business in an insidious way. Where I have no qualms about talking to anyone about Over 40 Females, in any profession, at any level, asking them for any level of sponsorship or involvement, I find I have some silo'd areas where I have that same confidence in my new business. 

If we're not growing, we're dying, right? 

As I move into the 2nd half of 2014, I embark on yet another facet of building my self-confidence, and learn to accept and embrace that it doesn't always apply in all situations.

How about you? Do you find there are areas of your life where you are confident, and others where you wish you were? I'd love to hear about it!